Life in Small Bites

By Dr. Jeff Alexander, international personal development trainer and speaker, and one of my favorite people and friend.

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When faced with intense emotional and mental challenges, it is important to have a key to unlock your prison of suffering. So let’s start with a true story.

Many years ago in India, the streets host many religious celebrations that often happened in the open market place. People dancing and parades of holy men lead the giant, beautifully adorned, sacred elephants down the narrow streets. These elephants were draped in golden blankets laden with jewels and bangles. These were very sacred parades with the elephants playing an important role at each event. A problem began to grow with the vendors who sold their food on the sides of the street. Many villagers faced a serious problem with these giant holy elephants as they lumbered down the street during the parade.

Because of the narrow streets and the size of the elephants, it was rather easy for the trunk of the elephant to sample the food along the path. It almost seemed like the trunk of each elephant had it’s own agenda independent from the elephant’s main purpose for the parade. The trunk would just grab a bunch of bananas as it took a few steps down the street, and when finished, would simply wander over to the other side of the road and snatch whatever was within range.

Once the elephants became aware of this unexpected treat as they paraded down the road, it grew into a real problem. How do you stop an animal weighing several tons from snatching your food? And to make it even more of a challenge, these animals were considered sacred and part of the holy event. Still, the villagers complained to the high priest that these sacred elephants were depleting their livelihood and it needed to stop.

So, the holy men got together, prayed and came up with a solution. They created a holy staff. A staff about three feet in length, wrapped in gold cloth adorned with a few jewels was now offered to each elephant before the parade began. And each elephant trunk gently wrapped itself around this holy staff. The elephant was trained to carry the staff in front of it’s head as part of the new ritual. The elephant was able to travel down the road as intended and the wandering trunk now had something to keep it occupied. The trunk had something to do instead of wandering all over seeking gratification. The holy staff idea worked and all the villagers and vendors were relieved that the problem was solved. It is still used to this day.

Have you ever started off your day with the intention of marching down your road of life and then your mind kicks in? And no matter where or what you are doing, the mind seems to take on its own agenda. Just like that elephant trunk, if the mind does not have something to do, it will go on autopilot and wander off to whatever it is programmed to go after. Unfortunately, the mind doesn’t always go after resourceful thoughts and often leaves the host suffering with self induced mind clutter. I want to offer you a holy staff for the mind.

Like the wandering elephant trunk, minds like to have something to do. When you have to focus on what is in front of you it is important to use your will to be attentive to the matter at hand. If life is coming at you from all directions consider trying this simple act until it becomes part of your thought process. At a time when you must break away from the false identity of the ego, it seems to pull you in even deeper and suffering could result.

I introduced this very short technique at the last Leap of Faith. I do it daily when finding myself lost in the parade of thoughts with a mind going in directions I don’t want. I give the mind a holy staff and pull it back on course. The goal is to use your mind and not be used by your mind.

When stimulated by an unpleasant events, feelings or thoughts, try the following. It is intended to center you and get you back into power and focus. Your outside world may not change but your inner world will soon become more peaceful and centered. From this place you are better able to take appropriate action. You begin to realize that you are more than the feelings that are being stimulated. You are more than the thoughts, which are nothing but energy packets of stories moving through the brain. You are more than the body, which is fed life energy from Spirit not the mind. Many yogis and holy men use a similar technique to “dis-identify” with the material world and tap into the infinite spiritual world.

Here is what you do.

1– Notice the Thoughts – The moment you just watch the thoughts in your head, you detach from them. For most of us, we tend to not just think the thoughts, we literally become the thoughts. This is where reality becomes false and suffering is the result. When you distance yourself from the movies in your head and just watch, notice, or observe them, you take the first step out of suffering. The Buddha said, “The way out of suffering is detachment.” Do not judge your thoughts, make them wrong, or try to stop them. Just become a witness and notice. Know that what is happening in your head comes from a place that was created long ago and has nothing to do with this moment. This is called witness consciousness.

2 – Notice the Feelings in the Body – Same as the thoughts, just notice where in the body you are reacting to the thoughts and your environment or condition. Notice if they feel contracted and tight or open and free. Notice where it is located – usually in the heart, stomach and throat area. Just become a witness and know that your body is doing what it is supposed to do. It is informing you about how it feels about what you are thinking and what is happening in front of you. Though you might feel pain and discomfort, by noticing them, you begin to distance from them and not be so victimized by the sensation in the body.

3- Throw the Breath – This technique goes back thousands of years and was taught by the Yogis of India. The breath is the cord that ties the invisible soul to the visible body. Inspiration of the breath, which comes from Spirit, is key to shifting your attention from the body onto your true self. Because you are tied to the sensations and thoughts of the body, you identify with them. At a time when you need to identify with Spirit, especially during confrontation, the breath becomes a conscious act of directing ones attention down the right path.

It is the only event of the body that is both involuntary andvoluntary. For example, your kidneys work involuntarily on their own without your attention. You can’t speed them up or slow them down with your thoughts. Your breath on the other hand is done involuntarily most of your day. You breathe and don’t have to have any conscious attention on it. Like your kidneys, the lungs just take in and let out air without your direction. But at will, you can alter your own breath whenever you want. You can take in a deep breath, or breathe shallow or rapidly by just consciously choosing to do so. So breathing also comes under voluntary control by willing it so.

After noticing the thoughts for a brief moment, notice the feelings in the body. Then direct your attention on the breath. With one long, deep inhale, say to yourself, “Breathe in Spirit!”. This gives the mind a new thought to wrap around. When the lungs are full, say to yourself “Breathe out Ego” while exhaling with one short followed by a longer exhale until the lungs are empty. So, one short and one long exhale right after it in the same exhale. Repeat this three times in a row and notice the difference in the body.

Physiologically what is happening is that you are oxygenating the body by breathing in air at a time you need it the most. Most unconscious reaction to discomfort is accompanied with shallow breathing or holding the breath altogether. With air coming into the lungs, the blood moves through all the brain, muscles and organs. You are doing something in the midst of challenge. The mere fact that you are re-directing your thoughts and body to follow your will starts to shift your perspective. The nervous system calms, and clarity soon follows.

Then literally lean your upper body back into your spirit. The act of leaning back and away from the condition in your head and heart area, gives space between you and the event. Allow the negative thoughts and programing to simply pass through the space created by leaning back into spirit. Remember that you are the sky and not the dark clouds passing through the sky.

This technique will soon become automatic and part of the good programing of your subconscious. What would life be like if every time you had a negative thought and associated feelings, your awareness automatically reminded you to distance yourself from such destructive thinking and you leaned back into your spirit? Perceptions begin to change. You no longer become marinated by your thoughts and soon realize that what is happening in your head has nothing to do with reality.

Some call this liberation. I call it reuniting with your Warrior Spirit. Enjoy your holy staff and I know that you will have ample opportunities to apply it after reading these words.