Life in Small Bites

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.

5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for things that matter.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’

27. Always choose Life.

28. Forgive but don’t forget.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.

42. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

#personal  #life  #life lessons

∞  SEPTEMBER 17, 2012

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By Dr. Jeff Alexander

Consider the possibility that everything you ever thought was wrong with you was really right with you. Consider that every painful experience in your life has been an important ingredient to your development and evolution. As the extreme tons of pressure needed to launch a rocket into space, you have accumulated experiences until you can launch yourself into freedom. Of course the ego interpreted this as suffering.

Humanity has created the most violent forms of suffering and now risks extinction of it’s own species. We are the most powerful and dangerous species in the history of the world. There seems to be a lot of fear of the consequences if we do not change our behavior.

Yet we have used our genius to engineer the healing of disease, feed the hungry and save millions of lives through technology. This compassion has kept us alive in spite of our desire to dominate each other.

I have often talked about this as the “normal vs. natural” condition of humanity. We are natural at birth: loving, curious about our physical environment, ready to take risks to discover and explore. We soon learn to become normal and the shadow of fear takes over. It has been this way since the beginning of humanity.

Consider that even suffering is part of the divine plan.  Yes, even the role of our dear friend the ego. Without the interpretation of the ego, we could possibly have never experienced the motivating force of suffering to convince us to change. It has been said “You can get it with a feather or you can get it with a hammer.”  One only has to pick up a history book to discover which path we have taken. And because hammers hurt, pain has become our companion throughout this path.

When you can see the beauty in the entire process as an individual, then we will see it as a collective. You will understand with new insights that it has all been appropriate and part of a great plan. I am certain that we could have danced through the ages with lessons more in tune with the feather analogy. But that is definitely not the way it went down. We have taken the hammer, to each other and to ourselves.

Most of you know by now that I love metaphors. So here is another one for you that will help you learn to bless this whole process.

We know that the butterfly, which takes a completely different form from the one part of its life to the next, most often symbolizes transformation.  The final days of the caterpillar cause it to eat hundreds of times its own body weight. It violently consumes its environment. One caterpillar can devour a whole tree as it approaches the end of its existence. Its voracious appetite drives it to the point where its skin is stretched. It becomes very heavy outgrowing its own skin many times, until it is too bloated to move another inch.  The discomfort stimulates it to find a final resting place where it can hang upside down attaching to a branch forming a chrysalis. This dark place encloses the caterpillar and limits its freedom as it views the upside down world for the last time.

After the caterpillar entombs itself in its cocoon, it does not simply begin to transform into a butterfly. It literally disintegrates into liquid ooze.  If you were to crack open the chrysalis half way through the process, you would not find a creature that is half caterpillar and half butterfly. You would discover a bunch of ooze.  This goop is now what is left of the body of the caterpillar.

Then something very interesting begins to happen. The emergence of a new cell appears. These cells do not come from the previous goop. They seem to come out of nowhere. Scientists do not know how they appear and they are completely different from the original ooze of the caterpillar. These new cells are called “imaginal cells” from the word, imagine.

At first they appear individually and are perceived as foreign to the original ooze cells. These cells resonate at a different frequency.  They are so different from the caterpillar cells that the immune system thinks they are enemies and begins to attack and destroy them.  But these new imaginal cells continue to appear. After a period of time, the immune system cannot destroy them because they are coming too fast.  More and more cells arrive and then a turning point in the process occurs.

The imaginal cells begin to find each other. At first they cling to each other. The law of attraction is in effect as like cells cling to like cells. The next process is equally miraculous. The small groups of clinging cells find other groups of cells and form clusters. This new community of clusters now feeds from the nutritive soup that was the liquid caterpillar and the ooze supplies an important step in the maintenance of the clusters.

As the clusters bond with each other, they interact and exchange information from one to another inside the chrysalis. The imaginal cells become directors of the process. The DNA intelligence orchestrates which is to become antenna cells, what cells will be digestive tracts while others begin to change into wing cells. The violent attempt of the host immune system to annihilate the imaginal cells literally activates the sleeping DNA of this new cell to grow, cluster and create a new creature.  When the nutritive soup has been absorbed and the final imaginal cell completes its process, we have the emergence of one of nature’s most beautiful miracles – the butterfly.

If you are in the middle of your “nutritive soup” and feel the attacking of your own ego as the upside down world appears to close in around you, then you just might be right on schedule.

Like the caterpillar, humanity is now called “consumers” in the market place. Not a very flattering label. We have taken a toll on the environment and each other. Throughout our history, imaginal prophets and leaders have been attacked and eliminated by violent means. The ego of humanity, which consumed many beautiful souls, has been an integral part of our spiritual evolution. The hammer has cracked open the imaginal cell to begin the final chapter of transformation. This is normal consciousness.

We are the imaginal cells. We are clustering and understand our own limitations and potentials. We have been taught to love our enemies and understand that they are so consumed by fear and ignorance that they do not know what they are doing. The natural imaginal cell that has emerged from the nutritive soup of our ancestors has found each other.  We are clustering. If these words resonate with you, then something deep within you is being released. There could be thousands or millions reading these words because our chrysalis has become transparent by the Internet.

Any discomfort of your past activated the ego to experience suffering. Without the pain, the global immune system is not activated. We have done this individually and collectively. We are the immune system kicking in. We are also the imaginal cells that are the intelligence lying dormant in our own DNA. It is our job to find each other. We are part of the largest movement in the history of the world. There is no center to this movement. There is no spokesman and humans from all walks of life and corners of our world are turning their complaints into a commitment larger than themselves.

We are on the threshold of a new reality. We are resurrecting ourselves from the normal reality back to the natural existence that is our divine birthright. We are moving away from fear and toward love.  We must allow and surrender to our true nature as loving beings. We must learn to bless that which we once cursed, to embrace those whom we have rejected and to express gratitude for all we have experienced. And where do we start? We can look within and find that which we have not forgiven.

As we continue to cluster and awaken our global heart, we will overcome political corruption; heal economic degeneration, environmental disasters and the bloated accumulation of over-consumption. All personal and collective chaos is happening for a reason beyond our normal thinking mind. Our Warrior Spirit will see us through to the light of the natural mind of Spirit where freedom awaits. And we will create that butterfly.

An additional note:  It has just been discovered by biologists that the genetic code that is responsible for the wings of a butterfly is also the exact same gene code responsible for the beating of the human heart.

In his 1989 book On Becoming a Leader, Warren Bennis composed a concise list of the differences:

1. The manager administers; the leader innovates.
2. The manager is a copy; the leader is an original.
3. The manager maintains; the leader develops.
4. The manager focuses on systems and structure; the leader focuses on people.
5. The manager relies on control; the leader inspires trust.
6. The manager has a short-range view; the leader has a long-range perspective.
7. The manager asks how and when; the leader asks what and why.
8. The manager has his or her eye always on the bottom line; the leader’s eye is on the horizon.
9. The manager imitates; the leader originates.
10. The manager accepts the status quo; the leader challenges it.
11. The manager is the classic good soldier; the leader is his or her own person.
12. The manager does things right; the leader does the right thing.

Floating lazily on my back in the Andaman Sea, I was drifting in and out of a pre-planned reverie.  Three weeks earlier my son, Gary, had been born.  He was healthy and beautiful.

The many weeks before had been less so.  The doctors had advised that the baby was in a breech position and a cesarean delivery was recommended and scheduled.

On week before the scheduled surgery, Gary had flipped inside and a normal birth was now possible. With labor pains commencing, my wife, Marlena, was taken to the hospital.  While monitoring Marlena’s labor, it became evident that the baby was under stress as his heart rate had become irregular.  The doctor, fearing that the umbilical cord had become wrapped around Gary’s neck, decided to perform an immediate cesarean.  The doctor’s assessment and decision were correct – indeed the cord had wrapped dangerously around Gary’s neck.

In addition to the normal stresses preceding the birth of a child, my work and travel schedule had also sponsored mounting stresses.  With Gary and Marlena healthy and safe, three weeks later I headed to the island of Phuket for a three-day respite.

Back to the Andaman:  My floating reverie collapsed quickly when I opened my eyes to discover that a rip-tide had swept me hundreds of yard from shore.  Never a strong swimmer, I attempted to swallow my panic and swim toward land.  Not to be!

The more I thrashed the farther I was carried out to sea.  I could barely spot a few people on the beach.  My yells for help were unnoticed and unattended.  Panic began to take control.

My total thoughts were about my new son and how thoughtless and careless I had been to deprive him of my fathering  – and me of his loving companionship.  From a deep recess a memory emerged.

I recalled reading that you cannot ‘swim against the tide’.  To overcome the pull of the tide required swimming at an angle with it, hoping to swim out of its grip.

My thoughts exploded in expletives, “Damn!  If this life experience is going to end here it is going to watch me swimming – and swimming!”  Silently, but vehemently, I shouted down my panic and replaced it with the resolve that my life and Gary’s, and all my ‘loved ones’, were worth ‘one more stroke’!  My physical and mental strength became irrelevant – as did Time.  My total focus was ‘one more stroke’!  No enlightenment or ‘open heavens’ embraced me.  I swam and I swam, and I swam – ‘one stroke at a time’.

A million years later I sensed that the current no longer commanded me.  I turned toward shore, now a couple of miles distant, and continued one stroke at a time.

Stroke by stroke I inched closer to shore. I swam promising to re-unite with my ‘loved ones’.  The water warmed as it shallowed.  When I finally stood trembling, staggering to the beach I saw children and parents frolicking – all having no awareness of my travail.

As I collapsed on the bed of the rented island cottage several thoughts flooded my mind:

1. Sometimes we seem to be truly alone.
2. Yet, we have inner strengths – unknown to us.
3. The power of Love is a doorway.
4. As I create my life great opportunities and contributions are possible when I willfully demand access to these strengths.
5. Requested strength may not rush forward.  It may only appear when decisively acting ‘one stroke at a time’.
6. My life experience is blessed – it is my challenge to share my strengths for the benefit of others.

This story could have been positioned in my book chapters on Adversity, Courage, Success, or even Responsibility.  I chose Service because the lesson for me is, “I am strengthened when working for the benefit of my ‘loved-ones’ and others.

Although not always living-up to my own expectations, my life mantra continues to be, “Serving self is in serving others – one stroke at a time.”

*****

“The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our room on this earth. It is obvious that man is himself a traveler; that the purpose of this world is not ‘to have and to hold’ but ‘to give and serve.’ There can be no other meaning.”  –  Sir Wilfred Grenfell

by Deanna Romano; Mind Valley; 24 Oct 2012

What were your school years like? Like many, they may have been years filled with math, English and science classes, combined with insecurities, bad skin and intense friendships bound by your deepest secrets that were shared at slumber parties or in the locker room.

While I don’t regret anything I’ve done anything in my life (as I believe that even some of my worst decisions led me to where I am today).

However, if I had to a write a list of life lessons to add to my 15-year-old self’s class timetable now, these would be them:

1. Not everyone in life will like you – no matter what you do or what you look like. And the reverse side of this is, you won’t always like everyone (and sometimes you can’t even pinpoint why). All you can do is treat everyone with kindness and be yourself. If this isn’t enough, they’re not worth your time. This equally applies to friendships and dating!

2. Be your own best friend – this follows on from my above point, looking for other people’s continuous approval will lead you down a lonely path (particularly if you’re looking for it from the wrong kind of people). Be kind to yourself and focus on what your greatest strengths are. No one is perfect, so don’t waste time wishing you were. Where there is room for improvement, do what you can and listen to your inner voice.

3. Don’t beat yourself up – things will go wrong from time-to-time, it’s what makes us human. The best thing to do is dust yourself off and try again. Of course if you keep making the same mistakes, it might be time to change tactics, although sometimes our mistakes turn out to be the biggest blessings in disguise and take us down a greater path.

4. Set goals and write them down. When your head is swarming with a list of everyday tasks, the bigger picture and less urgent goals can get pushed until tomorrow. And then the week after, and then maybe the year after that. Writing them down not only gives you a sense of purpose, it helps you realize what’s a priority in your life. Stick your goals up somewhere you can see them, so when you feel yourself going off track, they’ll act as gentle reminder.

 5. You can be whatever you want…within reason. This statement “you can be whatever you want” is one I’ve always been a little skeptical about. Can I really be the next Beyonce when I really can’t sing? The truth is, not matter how hard I try, probably not. But I can find what I am really good at, or something that I am incredibly passionate about, then shoot for the stars and make it happen.

6. You’re the only thing standing between a good and a bad day. It’s raining and grey outside and you’re running late for what’s set to be a tough day, however you have a choice at this moment to stay calm and make the most out of the day, or let any obstacle control your mood. Sure, things will sometimes come up that will lead you wishing you never got out of bed, however most of the time, we really can shape our reality.

7. Don’t compare yourself to others. There will always be people who are better at something or have more than you do. Whether they’re more attractive or smarter than you, or have the financial freedom to live a more luxurious life. Yes, it would be amazing if we could live the “dream life” we have conjured up in our heads, however the life you’re living is the one that you have. So make the most of it and follow the kind of dreams that will bring you happiness.

 8. 80% of what you fear will never happen. I’ve heard this statistic a lot over the years, and now that I’m 31 (gulp), it certainly feels this way. Knowing it doesn’t always take the worry away, but it can put things into perspective when your mind is going into overdrive with fears of “what if.” Most of the time the worst-case scenario doesn’t eventuate, so rather than preparing yourself for that, plan for the best outcome. Seeing a situation in a risky state gives you the chance to see what you really want and what your next course of action should be.