02 Jan 2013

Khristina Allen

Communication is one of the most vital skills of a person. Being talkative does not necessarily pertain to effectiveness in communicating your message. To be counted as an effective communicator, you have to be articulate in order to influence your audience.

Here are eight tips that are guaranteed to help you improve your communication skills.

1. Think before you speak.

People will understand you better if you have formed your words in your head with concrete meaning before putting them out. So it is important to think or plan first for ideas to say. If you have problems in organizing your thoughts, one good suggestion is to write or jot them down into an outline. Then take the most crucial parts of your notes. Make sure to elaborate on the points and highlight the main ideas.

2. Be a good listener.

You may be wondering why this has to be the second step in improving your communication skills. And that’s okay. Be reminded that communication is not all about talking and speaking but is largely also about listening to what others have to say. Communication should be a two-way traffic between two or more individuals. Part of this is avoiding distractions in order to make a good response.

3. Maintain good eye contact.

Focusing on the person with whom you’re speaking is very important as part of your communication skills. Shift your eyes to them to reach their hearts and catch their attention. Holding their gaze is one way to feel them as you speak.

4. Speak clearly.

It’s embarrassing when you cannot pronounce certain words well, especially if they are tongue twisters. They make you sound like mumbling. To correct this, you can practice enunciating them. The more you do, the easier it will get. The trick here is to try to speak lower than usual. There is no one and nothing running behind your back like a horse. So you don’t have to hurry. Else, you might lose their interest as they are trying hard to understand you.

5. Speak with gestures.

There is no rule that says you only have to use your voice box when communicating. Therefore, use your hands and body in making gestures to further illustrate your points. Also, without these movements, you may look like a robot in front of them—without gracefulness and emotions. Your approach will keep away from being monotone if you use gestures. Just make sure that gestures and your body language are appropriate according to the circumstance and background of your listener(s).

6. Don’t tell inside jokes.

Know a little more about the background of the person you’re talking to – their culture, language and interests. Know what tickles their funny bone and know the things you have to be careful about. Watch your words. Some sensitive ones will be subjected to different interpretations for different people.

7. Prepare visual aids.

If you are to speak with children, you may need to have flash cards to tell stories more effectively. If you’re speaking publicly, presenting to an audience and are talking about a serious issue that requires statistical data, it would be better if you can present with PowerPoint slides. These data on your background will help you remembering the facts to disclose and also set the pacing for your presentation.

8. Interact with your audience.

Don’t just talk and talk like you’re the only person present in the room. Encourage response. If whomever you’re speaking with is not shy and if it’s okay with you, allow them to butt in whenever they feel to do so to clear misunderstanding and miscomprehension. Their interaction can be a close measure of how your communication has been effective to them.

Developing good communication skills requires that you build your confidence first. These tips will not be as effective if you’re feeling unconfident. Be as honest and as authentic as you can. Try to move them by being yourself. You need to observe yourself in many situations – know what works for you and be aware of how you communicate verbally and non-verbally. One of the best pieces of advice is to also learn from others. Notice how they communicate and strategize on making their way better for your own.

“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka www.gethappyzone.com

An array of credentialed psychologists and other respected researchers have studied people around the globe to discern how money, culture, attitude, health, memory, altruism and daily habits affect our well-being. The field of “positive psychology” has dug deep and formerly recognized that a person’s thoughts and actions can have a significant effect on their happiness and life fulfillment.

With this in mind, here is a list of 10 scientifically proven happiness strategies:

1. Savor ordinary events. Study participants who took the time to do this “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky notes. Reflecting back on moments of your day, even those you might ordinarily hurry through, is a worthwhile effort.
2. Avoid comparisons. Focusing on your own personal achievements instead of making comparisons to others will better impact your happiness and self-esteem, according to Lyubomirsky, which leads to greater life satisfaction. It’s easy to lose sight of what achievements, both personal and professional, have enriched our life, and we must remind ourselves … often.
3. Put money low on the list. According to researchers Kasser and Ryan, those who put money high on their priority list are at greater risk for depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. “Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization,” Ryan says.
4. Have meaningful goals. As humans, we thrive on having a purpose, but what is purpose if there is no meaning behind it? “People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” father and son team Diener and Biswas-Diener found.
5. Take initiative at work. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that, “when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.”
6. Make friends and treasure family. This may seem like a no-brainer, but we need relationships. Sometimes we underestimate the importance of such connections.
7. Fake it until you make it.  This actually works, according to Diener and Biswas-Diener, who assert, “Happy people see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points.” This may take some practice, so try to smile even when you don’t feel like it.
8. Keep a gratitude journal. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you can either become a time bomb waiting to go off or you can recalibrate. An excellent tool for detoxing and redirecting your thoughts is with a gratitude journal. Those who write in a journal on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to achieve personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons.
9. Get moving. According to a Duke University study, exercise may be as effective as drugs in treating even major depression. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel-good hormone. Duke researcher Blumenthal suggested that “exercise may be beneficial because patients are actually taking an active role in trying to get better. Patients who exercised may have felt a greater sense of mastery over their condition and gained a greater sense of accomplishment.
10. Serve others. This is often referred to as a “helper’s high.” According to ethicist and researcher Stephen Post, helping a neighbor, volunteering, and donating goods and services results in more health benefits than exercising or quitting smoking.  Researcher Elizabeth Dunn similarly found that those who spent money on others reported greater happiness than those who spent it on themselves.

With so much science underscoring that we are active participants in the process, I prefer to regard happiness as a verb. Navigating happiness is a journey filled with a series of actions. It’s not an outcome. No matter the circumstance, we all have the capacity to be happy. The only question is what next step you will take to foster your own?

Story as told by Zig Ziglar

The dad was working in his home office and his little six-year old son wanted his dad to play catch with him.

About every five minutes the little boy would knock on his door and ask him to come out and play. The dad would say he couldn’t until he finished his work.

The fourth time the boy interrupted him the dad had an idea. He had a big picture of a world map on his desk. The dad cut it up into puzzle pieces and gave it to his son, telling him that when he finished putting the map together he would play catch with him.

The little boy took the pieces and started to work. About two minutes later, much to his dad’s surprise, he came back and said, “Dad, I am all done! Let’s play catch!” Amazed that the boy had completed it so quickly, he asked his son how he did it.

The boy said, “It’s simple, Dad. I noticed that there was a picture of a man on the other side of the page of the world, and I discovered that when I got the man right, the world was right.”

***

Getting ‘our work done’ to get ‘the man right’ must included the physical, mental, and spiritual areas. Skills and knowledge are important, but without character, discipline, the right mental approach and a good attitude, skills alone don’t get us far. 

By Zig Ziglar

I remember the media coverage which accompanied Sir Edmund Hillary’s feat of being the first person to scale Mt. Everest.  He became an instant celebrity, even though he had failed in his first effort and left five of his guides dead on the mountainside.  England recognized Sid Edmund Hillary’s tremendous effort by giving him the highest honor awarded a foreigner.  Years later he was back in the headlines when his son climbed to the peak of Mt. Everest and a radio-phone conversation was held between father and son.

Today, according to the government of Nepal, it’s very common for climbers to reach the peak of Mt. Everest.  As a matter of fact, a one-day record of 37 people reaching the summit of Mt. Everest has been reported.  Seven teams arrived within a half-hour period and created a climber’s traffic jam.  Yes, yesterday’s impossibles often become tomorrow’s standards.

On September 6, 1995, one of the world’s “unbreakable” records was broken.  I speak of the “Iron Man” stunt of Lou Gehrig, who played in 2,130 consecutive baseball games.  Gehrig’s record was thought to be unbreakable, but Cal Ripken broke that record and extended that streak to make it even more “impossible.”  Another record considered unbreakable was the number of hits Ty Cobb had gotten, but several years ago Pete Rose broke that “unbreakable” record.  Today 12-year-old girls are swimming faster than Johnny Weismuller swam when he was the Olympic Gold Medal winner.

Most of us get excited when we read about super-human achievements, but something that is much more important is when we break our own personal best records for accomplishments.  Achieving better grades, a better work record, a better record of “being nice,” and a host of other records will make you a better person in the most important game of all – the game of life.

Think about it – give it your best shot – break your own personal records and you will be AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar was known as America’s Motivator.  He authored 32 books and produced numerous training programs.  He will be remembered as a man who lived out his faith daily.

“I am the New Year.

I am an unspoiled page in your book of time.

I am your next chance at the art of living.

I am your opportunity to practice what you have learned about life during the last twelve months.

All that you sought and didn’t find is hidden in me, waiting for you to search it but with more determination…

All that you dreamed but didn’t dare to do, all that you hoped but did not will, all the faith that you claimed but did not have – these slumber lightly, waiting to be awakened by the touch of a strong purpose.

I am your opportunity to renew your allegiance to Him who said, ‘Behold, I make all things new.”

Author Unknown