Life in Small Bites

I would like to share with you the lessons by a 90-year young man. Feel free to spread this around with your friends and family.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short not to enjoy it.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
5. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for things that matter.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye… But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful.  Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to be happy.  But it’s all up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words, ‘In five years, will this matter?’
27. Always choose Life.
28. Forgive but don’t forget.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have, not what you think you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

To Your Success

Below is a story I wrote some time ago about a personal challenging experience.  Although the specifics of my challenges have no similarities to our current health and economic challenges with CoVid19 I feel that the lessons learned and the message shared have current relevance.  You be the judge…

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Feeling “Closed-in”? No Progress? Can’t Escape?

Personal story: Air Force POW/Survival Training

As an U.S. Air Force pilot in the early ‘70’s, I underwent POW/ Survival training. The training was to teach skills that would allow you to survive in the wilderness with no food, tools, or companions, using only your wits and the resources available in jungle or forest habitat. The training was very rigorous and demanding.

The training was also designed to prepare you for the extreme duress of being a Prisoner of War (POW).

One process used to simulate the isolation and torture that would likely be experienced as a POW was, after much physical and mental harassment, to force and lock you into “pitch black” box about the size of a small dish-washing machine. This was extremely uncomfortable and nearly mentally unbearable.

The time spent “in the box”, although usually less than an hour each time, seemed to last forever, kind of like in life, when you are experiencing a rut, depression, or severe problem with no solution in sight.

The box experience was transforming. For some, it was so horrific that they failed the test and did not complete the training. I even heard comments like, “If being a POW is anything like the training, I’ll never let them take me alive!” For others, the box experience was motivational. Motivating from the point of view that even with the nearly unbearable anguish, we could “come through”, complete the test, and move forward.

The box became a symbol of our inner strength and commitment to do whatever is necessary to survive, to succeed, to care for ourselves, our family, our country. I trust that this was the real intention of the prisoner training exercises.

Many of us who completed the test shared reflections that regardless of the physical and mental suffering we were sustained by knowing that it was a simulation; that the Air Force had just spent a million dollars training us as pilots, and the faith that they were really on our side.

This comforting and sustaining awareness was crucial to survival. And so it is with all of our life experiences. What if you lived your life believing that the Universe is really on your side?

It is my firm belief that we were not given life for ‘no reason’. Not yet knowing the reason is not justification for not embracing the nurture of a sustaining Universe. Treading in the comfort of a purposeful and nurturing Universe gives us strength to move through life’s challenges, and it inspires and stimulates us to move toward greater insight, wisdom, well-being, and contribution.

The magic of life is that these are different for everyone and we get to play in a world of unlimited diversity, beauty, privilege, and opportunity. And it always starts from where we are— now!

So what box are you in? Where do you want to go armed with the knowledge and faith that the Universe will support?

Remember, even with such support, it’s You in the box and it’s You who must do the doing to move through and toward your challenges and contributions.

So our next questions should be, “What do I want to do?” and “What will I do to get there?”

It is my personal belief that the necessary expression of appreciation for the Universe’s support is Action and Service for the benefit of others.

“The only way to experience the richness of life is to live in an Attitude of Gratitude:  to appreciate what you have and what you can give.”

– Anthony Robbins

It is said, “What gets measured gets managed.” For greater personal development, we must create a personal measure and management tool for our intangibles of:

• Gratitude
• Joy
• Peace of Mind
• Physical Health
• Spiritual Peace
• Sense of Contribution
•  

These measures will be highly subjective and very personal. The effort you put into creating your personal benchmark which allows you to calibrate your current state of mind for these intangibles will be greatly rewarded.

Becoming aware of where your mind is ‘staging’ allows you to take control and move up your scale through “acting as if”.

No one can create this Joy, Peace of Mind, or Fulfillment for us. Remember, our first job is to create the mindset and thereby the conditions that allow these to occur. The mindset of Gratitude is a great start.

The author and philosopher, James Allen, advises us to, “Cherish your visions. Cherish your ideals. Cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.”

Many philosophers have advised that a ‘thankful mind’ is the one that is the most observant and receptive to external support.  Being thankful broadens our focus and illuminates new opportunities.  The mental state of Gratitude allows us to transmit any condition into a higher state.

A ‘Growth’ Task:

Write a letter to a country, a people, race or religion that in the past you have judged negatively.  In this letter, express all your feelings about it.

Remember that your feelings are based on how you have internalized what you have heard, read, or experienced.  They may not be reflections of your ‘Best Self’. Write everything that comes up.  What thoughts and attitudes, if any, serve you?  Which do not?

As individuals, we are not alike.  We have different lifestyles, beliefs and perceptions.  It is my belief that these differences exist only in the physical plane.  At the molecular and spiritual level, we are all one, and are connected with the universal primary source.

When we begin to fully understand this concept of life in Unity, the idea of ​​a personal “I” gives way to the image of a Universal “I”.

The concept of rivalry and competition disappears.  Celebrate your Unity with all life knowing we are all one.  This is the relationship that allows deep love and empathy for everyone who surrounds us.

 “The hurt of any man/woman is the hurt of every man/woman and the benefit of any man/woman is the benefit of all men/woman.” – Robert Grant.

“The essential meaning and purpose of life is to become the best version of yourself.” – Mathew Kelly

“You are today where your thoughts have brought you;
You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” – James Allen

Our brain is sometimes compared to a computer in that you can only take out what you put in.  Our brains are infinitely more complex than a computer and are capable of creative thought, yet the comparison has some merit in that it is a strong caution to be wary of the “garbage in, garbage out” syndrome.  It is up to us to put in information and concepts that will promote our well-being and success.  If we do not do our own programming, someone else will do it for us.

With this in mind I work to supply my Inner Voice with supportive material for positive programming.  I know that my Inner Voice, the good one that knows and wants the best for me is like a muscle—it gets stronger with exercise.  I must Use it or lose it. 

A question that I continually ask my Inner Voice is, “What different attitudes should I program and what actions should I take if I lived to honor the truth that integrity has more value than money, position, or ego?”

I also know that it is important to realize that my Inner Voice is separate from my Ego.  Emotions like anger, resentment, pride, or embarrassment are ego-connected and cause me to be self-absorbed.  Body hits like these are not signs from my Inner Voice.  To hear my Inner Voice clearly I have to get Ego out of the way.

Getting Ego out of the way is a constant challenge for me.  Ego always wants to compare my actions and results to others.  I work to not let my shortcomings define me.  I claim that I am my own authority for my self-worth.  I affirm that Spirit as speaking through my Inner Voice only wants the best for me and reminds me to be generous with compassion for myself and others.

I have found that compassionate thoughts must become ingrained habits.  Coloring and immersing our thoughts with the wisdom of others works to strengthen our Inner Voice. Remember, if you are not doing your own programming, someone will do it for you. The Proverbs caution,

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

As the Roman Emperor and Stoic philosopher, Marcus Aurelius (121 – 180 AD) advised, “Such as they are, thy habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the Soul is dyed by these thoughts.”

The following quotes are from Massimo Pigliucci’s book How to Be a Stoic

“The Stoics adopted Socrates’s classification of four aspects of virtue, which they thought of as four tightly interlinked character traits: (practical) Wisdom, Courage, Temperance, and Justice.

Practical Wisdom allows us to make decisions that improve our Eudaimonia, the (ethically) good life.

Courage can be physical, but more broadly refers to the moral aspect—for instance, the ability to act well under challenging circumstances…

Temperance makes it possible for us to control our desires and actions so that we don’t yield to excesses.

 Justice, for Socrates and the Stoics, refers not to an abstract theory of how society should be run, but rather to the practice of treating other human beings with dignity and fairness.”

Massimo thoughtfully walks us through the four cardinal Stoic virtues: Wisdom + Courage + Temperance + Justice.

“The Stoics derived their understanding of virtue from Socrates, who believed that all virtues are actually different aspects of the same underlying feature: Wisdom. The reason why Wisdom is the ‘chief good,’ according to Socrates, is rather simple: it is the only human ability that is good under every and all circumstance.”

Massimo continues: “Other cultures have developed, more or less independently, their own sets of virtues as socially important character traits, each arriving at its own classification of the relations among virtues. Interestingly, though, there is much more convergence than we would expect in these days when cultural relativism is so often portrayed as the norm. A study by Katherine Dahlsgaard, Christopher Peterson, and Martin Seligman looked at how virtue is articulated in Buddhism, Christianity, Confucianism, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, and what they call ‘Athenian philosophy’ (mostly Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle).

They found a rather surprising amount of congruence among all of these religious-philosophical traditions and identified a set of six ‘core’ virtues: Courage, Justice, Humanity, Temperance, Wisdom, and Transcendence.

Four of the six are indistinguishable from the Stoic virtues. Stoics also accepted the importance of ‘humanity’ and ‘transcendence,’ although they didn’t think of these as virtues, but rather as attitudes toward others (humanity) and toward the universe at large (transcendence).”

Remember ‘Intention’ is a KEY. ‘Action’ is the ANSWER.