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Jan 7, 2013 - Musings    1 Comment

Viktor E. Frankl quotes

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: motivation

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalmotivational

“The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: happinesssuccess

“But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“What is to give light must endure burning.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.”
― Viktor E. Frankl

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.”
― Viktor E. Frankl

“So live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirational

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: abnormalfranklmeaningviktor

“For the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth – that Love is the ultimate and highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

tags: attitude

“Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalpsychology

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how’.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: nietzsche

“I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: franklgoodgrudgelifemeaningviktor

“The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar, from which he daily tears a sheet, grows thinner with each passing day. On the other hand, the person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest. What will it matter to him if he notices that he is growing old? Has he any reason to envy the young people whom he sees, or wax nostalgic over his own lost youth? What reasons has he to envy a young person? For the possibilities that a young person has, the future which is in store for him?
No, thank you,’ he will think. ‘Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, although these are things which cannot inspire envy.’ ”

From “Logotherapy in a Nutshell”, an essay”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalreflection

“A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes – within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“We cannot, after all, judge a biography by its length, by the number of pages in it; we must judge by the richness of the contents…Sometimes the ‘unfinisheds’ are among the most beautiful symphonies.”

― Viktor E. FranklThe Doctor And The Soul

tags: deathlife

“By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to stress that the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic “the self-transcendence of human existence.” It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself–be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself–by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love–the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalpsychology

“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

tags: meaning-of-life

“The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

tags: humormeaning

“Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in its spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take a stand toward the conditions.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the “why” for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any “how”.”
― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“To suffer unecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“Ironically enough, in the same way that fear brings to pass what one is afraid of, likewise a forced intention makes impossible what one forcibly wishes… Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: psychology

“No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“A man’s concern, even his despair, over the worthwhileness of life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disease.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalpsychology

“For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirational

“I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsiblity on the West Coast.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord’s Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

tags: franklmanman-s-search-for-meaningrealisticviktor

“The point is not what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us.”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaninglessness in rational terms.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: inspirationalpsychology

“Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: decisions

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: purpose-in-liferaison-d-être

“Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“The crowning experience of all, for the homecoming man, is the wonderful feeling that, after all he has suffered, there is nothing he need fear anymore—except his God.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

“Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of…”

― Viktor E. Frankl

“As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, responsibleness is the very essence of human existence.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: human-existenceinspirationallifelogotherapymeaningresponsibility

“To the European, it is a characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded and ordered to ‘be happy.’ But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to ‘be happy.’ Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation.”

― Viktor E. FranklMan’s Search for Meaning

tags: happinessinspirationallifemeaning

 

 

Jan 3, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

8 Tips to Make You a Great Communicator

02 Jan 2013

Khristina Allen

 

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” – Anthony Robbins

Communication is one of the most vital skills of a person. Being talkative does not necessarily pertain to effectiveness in communicating your message. To be counted as an effective communicator, you have to be articulate in order to influence your audience.

Here are eight tips that are guaranteed to help you improve your communication skills.

1. Think before you speak.

People will understand you better if you have formed your words in your head with concrete meaning before putting them out. So it is important to think or plan first for ideas to say. If you have problems in organizing your thoughts, one good suggestion is to write or jot them down into an outline. Then take the most crucial parts of your notes. Make sure to elaborate on the points and highlight the main ideas.

2. Be a good listener.

You may be wondering why this has to be the second step in improving your communication skills. And that’s okay. Be reminded that communication is not all about talking and speaking but is largely also about listening to what others have to say. Communication should be a two-way traffic between two or more individuals. Part of this is avoiding distractions in order to make a good response.

3. Maintain good eye contact.

Focusing on the person with whom you’re speaking is very important as part of your communication skills. Shift your eyes to them to reach their hearts and catch their attention. Holding their gaze is one way to feel them as you speak.

4. Speak clearly.

It’s embarrassing when you cannot pronounce certain words well, especially if they are tongue twisters. They make you sound like mumbling. To correct this, you can practice enunciating them. The more you do, the easier it will get. The trick here is to try to speak lower than usual. There is no one and nothing running behind your back like a horse. So you don’t have to hurry. Else, you might lose their interest as they are trying hard to understand you.

5. Speak with gestures.

There is no rule that says you only have to use your voice box when communicating. Therefore, use your hands and body in making gestures to further illustrate your points. Also, without these movements, you may look like a robot in front of them—without gracefulness and emotions. Your approach will keep away from being monotone if you use gestures. Just make sure that gestures and your body language are appropriate according to the circumstance and background of your listener(s).

6. Don’t tell inside jokes.

Know a little more about the background of the person you’re talking to – their culture, language and interests. Know what tickles their funny bone and know the things you have to be careful about. Watch your words. Some sensitive ones will be subjected to different interpretations for different people.

7. Prepare visual aids.

If you are to speak with children, you may need to have flash cards to tell stories more effectively. If you’re speaking publicly, presenting to an audience and are talking about a serious issue that requires statistical data, it would be better if you can present with PowerPoint slides. These data on your background will help you remembering the facts to disclose and also set the pacing for your presentation.

8. Interact with your audience.

Don’t just talk and talk like you’re the only person present in the room. Encourage response. If whomever you’re speaking with is not shy and if it’s okay with you, allow them to butt in whenever they feel to do so to clear misunderstanding and miscomprehension. Their interaction can be a close measure of how your communication has been effective to them.

Developing good communication skills requires that you build your confidence first. These tips will not be as effective if you’re feeling unconfident. Be as honest and as authentic as you can. Try to move them by being yourself. You need to observe yourself in many situations – know what works for you and be aware of how you communicate verbally and non-verbally. One of the best pieces of advice is to also learn from others. Notice how they communicate and strategize on making their way better for your own.

 

Jan 2, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

New Year Resolutions and Happiness Strategies

“America’s Happyologist” Jackie Ruka www.gethappyzone.com

An array of credentialed psychologists and other respected researchers have studied people around the globe to discern how money, culture, attitude, health, memory, altruism and daily habits affect our well-being. The field of “positive psychology” has dug deep and formerly recognized that a person’s thoughts and actions can have a significant effect on their happiness and life fulfillment.

With this in mind, here is a list of 10 scientifically proven happiness strategies:

  1. Savor ordinary events. Study participants who took the time to do this “showed significant increases in happiness and reductions in depression,” psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky notes. Reflecting back on moments of your day, even those you might ordinarily hurry through, is a worthwhile effort.
  2. Avoid comparisons. Focusing on your own personal achievements instead of making comparisons to others will better impact your happiness and self-esteem, according to Lyubomirsky, which leads to greater life satisfaction. It’s easy to lose sight of what achievements, both personal and professional, have enriched our life, and we must remind ourselves … often.
  3. Put money low on the list. According to researchers Kasser and Ryan, those who put money high on their priority list are at greater risk for depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. “Money-seekers also score lower on tests of vitality and self-actualization,” Ryan says.
  4. Have meaningful goals. As humans, we thrive on having a purpose, but what is purpose if there is no meaning behind it? “People who strive for something significant, whether it’s learning a new craft or raising moral children, are far happier than those who don’t have strong dreams or aspirations,” father and son team Diener and Biswas-Diener found.
  5. Take initiative at work. Researcher Amy Wrzesniewski says that, “when we express creativity, help others, suggest improvements or do additional tasks on the job, we make our work more rewarding and feel more in control.”
  6. Make friends and treasure family. This may seem like a no-brainer, but we need relationships. Sometimes we underestimate the importance of such connections.
  7. Fake it until you make it.  This actually works, according to Diener and Biswas-Diener, who assert, “Happy people see possibilities, opportunities, and success. When they think of the future, they are optimistic, and when they review the past, they tend to savor the high points.” This may take some practice, so try to smile even when you don’t feel like it.
  8. Keep a gratitude journal. When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, you can either become a time bomb waiting to go off or you can recalibrate. An excellent tool for detoxing and redirecting your thoughts is with a gratitude journal. Those who write in a journal on a weekly basis are healthier, more optimistic, and more likely to achieve personal goals, according to author Robert Emmons.
  9. Get moving. According to a Duke University study, exercise may be as effective as drugs in treating even major depression. Exercise releases endorphins, the feel-good hormone. Duke researcher Blumenthal suggested that “exercise may be beneficial because patients are actually taking an active role in trying to get better. Patients who exercised may have felt a greater sense of mastery over their condition and gained a greater sense of accomplishment.
  10. Serve others. This is often referred to as a “helper’s high.” According to ethicist and researcher Stephen Post, helping a neighbor, volunteering, and donating goods and services results in more health benefits than exercising or quitting smoking.  Researcher Elizabeth Dunn similarly found that those who spent money on others reported greater happiness than those who spent it on themselves.

 

With so much science underscoring that we are active participants in the process, I prefer to regard happiness as a verb. Navigating happiness is a journey filled with a series of actions. It’s not an outcome. No matter the circumstance, we all have the capacity to be happy. The only question is what next step you will take to foster your own?

 

Jan 2, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

Getting Our Work Right

Story as told by Zig Ziglar

The dad was working in his home office and his little six-year old son wanted his dad to play catch with him.

About every five minutes the little boy would knock on his door and ask him to come out and play. The dad would say he couldn’t until he finished his work.

The fourth time the boy interrupted him the dad had an idea. He had a big picture of a world map on his desk. The dad cut it up into puzzle pieces and gave it to his son, telling him that when he finished putting the map together he would play catch with him.

The little boy took the pieces and started to work. About two minutes later, much to his dad’s surprise, he came back and said, “Dad, I am all done! Let’s play catch!” Amazed that the boy had completed it so quickly, he asked his son how he did it.

The boy said, “It’s simple, Dad. I noticed that there was a picture of a man on the other side of the page of the world, and I discovered that when I got the man right, the world was right.”

***

Getting ‘our work done’ to get ‘the man right’ must included the physical, mental, and spiritual areas. Skills and knowledge are important, but without character, discipline, the right mental approach and a good attitude, skills alone don’t get us far. 

 

Jan 2, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

Yesterday’s Impossibles

By Zig Ziglar

I remember the media coverage which accompanied Sir Edmund Hillary’s feat of being the first person to scale Mt. Everest.  He became an instant celebrity, even though he had failed in his first effort and left five of his guides dead on the mountainside.  England recognized Sid Edmund Hillary’s tremendous effort by giving him the highest honor awarded a foreigner.  Years later he was back in the headlines when his son climbed to the peak of Mt. Everest and a radio-phone conversation was held between father and son.

Today, according to the government of Nepal, it’s very common for climbers to reach the peak of Mt. Everest.  As a matter of fact, a one-day record of 37 people reaching the summit of Mt. Everest has been reported.  Seven teams arrived within a half-hour period and created a climber’s traffic jam.  Yes, yesterday’s impossibles often become tomorrow’s standards.

On September 6, 1995, one of the world’s “unbreakable” records was broken.  I speak of the “Iron Man” stunt of Lou Gehrig, who played in 2,130 consecutive baseball games.  Gehrig’s record was thought to be unbreakable, but Cal Ripken broke that record and extended that streak to make it even more “impossible.”  Another record considered unbreakable was the number of hits Ty Cobb had gotten, but several years ago Pete Rose broke that “unbreakable” record.  Today 12-year-old girls are swimming faster than Johnny Weismuller swam when he was the Olympic Gold Medal winner.

Most of us get excited when we read about super-human achievements, but something that is much more important is when we break our own personal best records for accomplishments.  Achieving better grades, a better work record, a better record of “being nice,” and a host of other records will make you a better person in the most important game of all – the game of life.

Think about it – give it your best shot – break your own personal records and you will be AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar was known as America’s Motivator.  He authored 32 books and produced numerous training programs.  He will be remembered as a man who lived out his faith daily.

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