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Jun 19, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

Sayings From My Father

David S. Rose

From the Fathers Day edition of the Wall Street Journal Blog

David S. Rose is Managing Partner of Rose Tech Ventures,  a venture fund focused on Internet-based businesses.  I echo his insightful and eloquent comments and quotes attributable to his father as thoughts that I wish I had expressed to my own Dad.  There is useful wisdom expressed here.

David S. Rose: Sayings From My Father
GUEST MENTOR David S. Rose, CEO of GustIt is safe to say that my father has been, by far, the most important influence on my life as an entrepreneur. Back in the days of the dotcom boom, when I was in my 30s, I was delighted to be named a finalist for the prestigious Ernst & Young “Entrepreneur of the Year” Award in New York. It was no surprise at all, however, when my father actually won the award just a few years ago…when he was in his late 70s!

For as far back as I can remember, my father has served as my primary role model, showing by example the importance of impeccable integrity, hard work and dedication, creative business thinking and the need for maintaining a long-term perspective. Today, in his mid-80’s, he is as energetic and engaged in the entrepreneurial life as anyone I know, creating new business and social ventures, and mentoring yet another generation of entrepreneurs.

While my siblings and I have had the privilege of growing up under his direct tutelage, many other people have had the benefit of his distilled life experience, because one thing he is not shy about is sharing advice. Indeed, his seemingly endless store of one-line advisories has served as the soundtrack for the lives of his children, his grandchildren, his employees, his protégés…and anyone who has ever come within his orbit. Here, in honor of Father’s Day, is a selection of his timeless advice for entrepreneurs; some original, others relayed from heroes of his such as Twain, Churchill, Plato, Shakespeare, Santayana and Montaigne, as well as his own father and brothers:

You can get anything done if you’re willing to give away the credit. This was driven home to me when I was a teenager. I watched from a ring-side seat as he single-handedly conceived, implemented and succeeded at pulling off a brilliant, entrepreneurial, off-the-wall solution to a problem that saved an otherwise-doomed $100 million project. But at the ribbon cutting ceremony, a dozen other people, including the Mayor, were showered with credit while my father’s name was not even mentioned. I was absolutely devastated, but he was quietly and calmly proud, pointing out that…

Plato’s definition of ‘beauty’ is “fitness to the end in view.” …and his end game had been to save the project, not be honored by the mayor. The moral of this is to have a clear idea of what you are trying to do, and then focus on getting that done. In many ways this is a precursor of the Lean Methodology concept of the Minimum Viable Product: don’t be distracted by surface appearances or unnecessary features; start by solving the immediate problem with a “beautiful” solution.

Your actions shout so loud I can’t hear what you’re saying. One of his many admonishments on the subject of integrity, the point is that one can talk a good game, but at the end of the day it is what you do—and only what you do— that actually counts. Integrity means practicing what you preach, saying what you mean, and living up to your promises and exhortations with your own actions.

You only get one chance to make a first impression. He first told me this in seventh grade when I moved to a new school, and I have come to realize how important (even though it seems ridiculously obvious) this is in virtually every business environment. When people meet you for the first time, whether investors, customers, or potential partners, YOU are in control of what they begin to think of you. Once that first impression has clicked, it is damnably difficult to get people to change their mind. This is now a standard part of my presentation training seminars for entrepreneurs, because in a venture pitch your target investor will likely start making up his or her mind about your opportunity before you are two or three minutes into the presentation.

Negotiate iron-clad contracts…and then put them in a drawer and forget them.
I have relied on this one virtually every day of my entrepreneurial and investing career, and preach this to all of my own protégés. My father is one of the sharpest business people I have ever met, but also the straightest shooter. He stresses over and over how critical it is to ensure that the underlying paperwork in any deal is in your favor and gives you negotiating leverage when the chips are down…but then points out that “with great power comes great responsibility”, and you will always do much better by using the power to dictate fair terms for everyone, rather than taking advantage for yourself.

Trust everyone, but cut the cards. The corollary, from Mark Twain, suggests going into every discussion and negotiation assuming good intentions on everyone’s part…but not being naïve about it. In my own entrepreneurial career I’ve taken this even one step further. My corporate motto has always been “everyone gets one chance to screw us”, because if I limit my exposure on the first interaction, it will be the cheapest money I ever spend to find out who plays fair and who doesn’t.

It’s one thing to piss on my back, but don’t try to tell me I’m sweating. This one comes from an old-time construction superintendent with whom my father himself apprenticed, and it again boils down to honesty and integrity. Whatever you do (or whatever someone else does to you) should be done clearly and with no obfuscation. Own your actions, and don’t try to fool yourself or anyone else with false rationalizations. (As in “its perfectly ok to pirate music and movies against the express wishes of the copyright owner, because I’m actually helping them by giving them added exposure…”)

Every tub should sit on its own bottom. That is, examine each action or relationship independently, and don’t mix yourself up by conflating unrelated activities. For example, if you are considering taking in a strategic investment, analyze the equity investment independently as one piece, and the strategic contract as a separate one. Similarly, when considering a problem, break it down into the smallest possible components and figure out how to solve each one on its own. Quite often a seemingly intractable problem can be handled with two or three simple actions.

Nice guys don’t always finish first…but you should act as if they do. History has shown that bad things happen to good people, and if one runs around maintaining “nice guys always finish first”, you will (a) be disappointed, and (b) convince people that you’re hopelessly naïve. But the fact is that if the “nice” is combined with other characteristics such as “effective”, “smart” and “hardworking”, nice guys often DO finish first, and have an easier time and more support from those around them.

If three people tell you you’re drunk…lie down anyway. Mark Twain’s advice about having a decent respect for the opinions of others is something that I remind myself about nearly every day. Entrepreneurs are almost universally convinced that they are bearing the Word of God, and that anyone who disagrees with them must therefore be either an idiot or invincibly ignorant. I am certainly no exception to this belief, but after nearly four decades in business I have come to realize how true Twain’s words ring. While it is critical for entrepreneurs to have faith in their own visions, it is equally critical to listen to what the market and other smart people are saying. Coachability, flexibility, and a willingness to listen to (if not heed) good advice are some of the key things that I look for an as an investor.

Happiness is the exercise of one’s vital powers along lines of excellence. Last but not least, George Santayana’s perceptive view of personal fulfillment (what Abraham Maslow discussed as “self actualization”) pre-dated by decades the concept of “flow”. Exercising my ‘vital powers’ as an entrepreneur, an investor and a mentor makes me one of the happiest people I know…just as it has for my life role model.

Happy Father’s Day, Daniel Rose!

Jun 19, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

What I’ve Learned

Lessons

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

by Maya Angelou

Jun 11, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

Deepak’s 5 Rules for a Healthful Life

  1. Diligence – Self observance: pay attention to what you Think, Say, and do without Judgment.
  2. Silence – Meditate daily
  3. Live the Question – “Who am I?”, “What’s my Purpose?”
  4. Make Love a Priority.
  5. Never cease to have a sense of Wonder – Don’t do anything that isn’t fun.  Are the people around you fun? Are my actions improving my life and the lives of others?

 

Physical and Mental cancers are manifestations of not eliminating destructive practices – whether physical like over-eating or under-exercising or mental like wallowing in anger, resentment, judgments, envy, or duplicity. 

Self-awareness, Diligence, Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Joyfulness are the cures and sustaining processes.

The Choice is always ours.

Jun 9, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

10 Happiness Practices

by James Dawborn


I have here 10 things you can do today to improve your life and current situation.. enjoy

1. Develop a circle of close associations who cherish working on values and goals instead of sharing problems and difficulties. Help others on a daily basis by becoming a role model for an ethical hard working individual. Work on becoming more optimistic by eliminating cynicism from your life and conversations.

2. Record your strengths and weaknesses in a diary and each day write down some positive things you will achieve for that day.

3. Progress is the key to happiness so gain more knowledge and strive to learn new skills on a weekly basis. Create a compelling future for yourself

4. Your vocabulary matters.  When you speak positive, uplifting thoughts, when you compliment others, when you stop cursing and start praising, it uplifts you into a more positive human being. Write down negative phrases you say each day and “reframe” them into a more positive outlook on life.

5. Practice the ability to accept change, and risk what you are passionate about achieving. Start with small goals you know you can achieve. This will build your self- confidence and give you the courage to risk bigger and more joy inducing, long term thrills.

6. Trust your own intuition. Believe in yourself. Associate with positive, uplifting people, think and exude positive thoughts and attitudes. Act enthusiastic and you’ll train your brain to be enthusiastic.

7. Be confident and build good relationships with people. Be fortunate for who you are and where your dreams can take you.

8. Embrace the law of attraction as it responds the way your mind works; your subconscious cannot interpret negativity. Therefore when you hear yourself making comments that include “don’t,” “won’t,” “can’t,” or “no,” you are actually giving your mind the attention to dwell on these negative emotions. You attract to your life whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, wanted or unwanted.

9. Get in the habit of writing, calling or e-mailing at least 4 notes per day, simply saying thank you, getting back in touch or offering help to someone in need. Apply your faith in what is good in the world and pass it on to someone else.

10. Educate yourself on the pitfalls we face as a society as to why young people turn to drugs to alcohol to escape painful feelings and memories. Understand that spirituality and faith, family and high self-esteem are the cornerstones for living a happy, successful life.

My Twitter user name is: @Oraclewellbeing

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=77cAM&m=446uLmw5z6oY_y8&b=lQPZB3Kiyo1dyjFf7u3Sgg

Jun 9, 2013 - Musings    No Comments

48 Empowering Messages Your Children Need to Hear

Provided by Finer Minds

In this article, guest writer (author of the Child Whisperer and Chakra Healing) Carol Tuttle, shares with us 48 empowering messages we should tell children so they grow up to be accepting of the qualities that make them special.

The messages your children hear from you today will nfluence the beliefs they hold about themselves as adults.

Give them a head start on loving and trusting themselves by consciously choosing the messages you send.

Children naturally express one of four, general patterns of energy. Each child needs specific supportive messages that honor their natural movement.

Use these phrases in words (or consider how you could express them in action) to help your child feel loved and empowered for who they really are.

>>> Read the article on FinerMinds

Type 1 Child: Fun-loving 

These children are light, bouncy and social. They may struggle with being judged as hyper or flighty. Empower Type 1 children with the message that fun is okay, and they’ll grow up into adults who naturally bring hope and new ideas to others:

Try saying the following messages to empower them:

  • You’re so fun
  • It’s okay for you to make noise and laugh and play
  • You’re so creative and imaginative
  • It’s okay for you to change your mind
  • You have great ideas; thank you for sharing them
  • You learn so quickly
  • Trust your ideas; they’re brilliant
  • You’re not in charge of making me happy – I am
  • You can have as many friends as you want
  • I love to spend time having fun with you

Type 2 Child: Sensitive

These children are subtle, gentle and emotional. They can struggle with feeling invisible or weak. Empower this type of child to see their emotions as strengths, and they’ll grow up to bring peace and comfort to others.

Try repeating the following messages to reassure them:

  • You’re so sweet
  • It’s okay for you to take your time and think things through
  • You’re so thoughtful and mindful of others
  • It’s okay for you to take your time
  • You have great questions; thank you for asking
  • You learn so intuitively
  • Trust your emotional intuition
  • You’re not responsible for my feelings – I am.
  • You can connect with friends however it feels most  comfortable to you
  • I love to spend quiet time together with you

>>> Read the article on FinerMinds

Type 3 Child: Determined

These children are dynamic, active and physical. They can struggle when always told to calm down. Empower this type of child with messages of support, and they will grow up to motivate and encourage others:

  • You’re so strong
  • It’s okay to move, to touch, to explore, and get your hands into things
  • You’re so determined and good at encouraging others
  • It’s okay for you to move as fast as you want to
  • You do great things; thank you for letting me share them with you
  • You’re so good at learning with your hands
  • Trust your gut
  • It’s not your job to push me to do good things – that’s my job
  • You can engage your friends however feels best for you
  • You did it!

Type 4 Child: Serious

These children are reflective, consistent and intellectual.  They can struggle with being seen as critical. Empower this type of child with messages of respect, and they will grow up using their keen eye to perfect the world:

  • You’re so observant
  • It’s okay for you to observe and think first, before jumping in
  • You’re so loyal and caring
  • You can have as much structure and routine in your life as you want
  • You understand things clearly; thank you for sharing  your thoughts
  • You learn so thoroughly
  • Trust your thoughts; they are brilliant
  • It’s not your job to make sure others are following the rules
  • You don’t have to talk to other people if you don’t want to
  • I respect your boundaries

Messages for Every Type of Child

No matter what type of energy your child expresses, he or she needs to hear positive and empowering messages from you too:

Welcome to the world: we have a special place prepared for you

  • You can be you and I will always love you
  • It’s okay for you to be different from me – we will work out our differences
  • You can try new things and find your own way of doing things
  • You’re just the way you need to be in order to succeed
  • It’s okay to make mistakes
  • You can take all the time you need to grow up
  • I love you just the way you are

If You Didn’t Hear Those Messages As a Child…

It’s okay. You can still be empowered now, even if you weren’t as a child. Choose a few messages here that resonate with you the most, write them down, and put them omewhere you will see them all.

Give love and support to yourself as freely as you do to your children. Empower your children. Empower yourself. As you do, you naturally create a better world.

To filling our children with love and self-acceptance,

The FinerMinds Team

 

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