Life in Small Bites

Provided by Finer Minds

In this article, guest writer (author of the Child Whisperer and Chakra Healing) Carol Tuttle, shares with us 48 empowering messages we should tell children so they grow up to be accepting of the qualities that make them special.

The messages your children hear from you today will nfluence the beliefs they hold about themselves as adults.

Give them a head start on loving and trusting themselves by consciously choosing the messages you send.

Children naturally express one of four, general patterns of energy. Each child needs specific supportive messages that honor their natural movement.

Use these phrases in words (or consider how you could express them in action) to help your child feel loved and empowered for who they really are.

>>> Read the article on FinerMinds

Type 1 Child: Fun-loving 

These children are light, bouncy and social. They may struggle with being judged as hyper or flighty. Empower Type 1 children with the message that fun is okay, and they’ll grow up into adults who naturally bring hope and new ideas to others:

Try saying the following messages to empower them:

• You’re so fun
• It’s okay for you to make noise and laugh and play
• You’re so creative and imaginative
• It’s okay for you to change your mind
• You have great ideas; thank you for sharing them
• You learn so quickly
• Trust your ideas; they’re brilliant
• You’re not in charge of making me happy – I am
• You can have as many friends as you want
• I love to spend time having fun with you

Type 2 Child: Sensitive

These children are subtle, gentle and emotional. They can struggle with feeling invisible or weak. Empower this type of child to see their emotions as strengths, and they’ll grow up to bring peace and comfort to others.

Try repeating the following messages to reassure them:

• You’re so sweet
• It’s okay for you to take your time and think things through
• You’re so thoughtful and mindful of others
• It’s okay for you to take your time
• You have great questions; thank you for asking
• You learn so intuitively
• Trust your emotional intuition
• You’re not responsible for my feelings – I am.
• You can connect with friends however it feels most  comfortable to you
• I love to spend quiet time together with you

>>> Read the article on FinerMinds

Type 3 Child: Determined

These children are dynamic, active and physical. They can struggle when always told to calm down. Empower this type of child with messages of support, and they will grow up to motivate and encourage others:

• You’re so strong
• It’s okay to move, to touch, to explore, and get your hands into things
• You’re so determined and good at encouraging others
• It’s okay for you to move as fast as you want to
• You do great things; thank you for letting me share them with you
• You’re so good at learning with your hands
• Trust your gut
• It’s not your job to push me to do good things – that’s my job
• You can engage your friends however feels best for you
• You did it!

Type 4 Child: Serious

These children are reflective, consistent and intellectual.  They can struggle with being seen as critical. Empower this type of child with messages of respect, and they will grow up using their keen eye to perfect the world:

• You’re so observant
• It’s okay for you to observe and think first, before jumping in
• You’re so loyal and caring
• You can have as much structure and routine in your life as you want
• You understand things clearly; thank you for sharing  your thoughts
• You learn so thoroughly
• Trust your thoughts; they are brilliant
• It’s not your job to make sure others are following the rules
• You don’t have to talk to other people if you don’t want to
• I respect your boundaries

Messages for Every Type of Child

No matter what type of energy your child expresses, he or she needs to hear positive and empowering messages from you too:

Welcome to the world: we have a special place prepared for you

• You can be you and I will always love you
• It’s okay for you to be different from me – we will work out our differences
• You can try new things and find your own way of doing things
• You’re just the way you need to be in order to succeed
• It’s okay to make mistakes
• You can take all the time you need to grow up
• I love you just the way you are

If You Didn’t Hear Those Messages As a Child…

It’s okay. You can still be empowered now, even if you weren’t as a child. Choose a few messages here that resonate with you the most, write them down, and put them omewhere you will see them all.

Give love and support to yourself as freely as you do to your children. Empower your children. Empower yourself. As you do, you naturally create a better world.

To filling our children with love and self-acceptance,

The FinerMinds Team

By: Brian Johnson

Here they are, from Sonja Lyubomirsky’s book 

The How of Happiness:

1. Expressing Gratitude 

2. Cultivating Optimism

3. Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison

4. Practicing Acts of Kindness

5. Nurturing Social Relationships

6. Developing Strategies for Coping

7. Learning to Forgive

8. Increasing Flow Experiences

9. Savoring Life’s Joys

10. Committing to Your Goals

11. Practicing Religion and Spirituality

12. Taking Care of Your Body: Meditation + Physical Activity + Acting Like a Happy Person

A cool point Sonja makes again and again (!) throughout the book is that it’s *essential* for us to choose activities that inspire us as we’re much more likely to follow through on those activities than doing something we think we “should” do.

“I believe that a life of integrity is the most fundamental source of personal worth. I do not agree with the popular success literature that says that self-esteem is primarily a matter of mind-set, of attitude — that you can psych yourself into peace of mind. Peace of mind comes when your life is in harmony with true principles and values and in no other way.” 

– Stephen R. Covey from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

by Michael Josephson

I’ve given lots of commencement addresses and, despite the silly hat, it’s a head-swelling experience to tell a captive crowd how they should live their lives. The problem is, speakers are to graduations what turkeys are to Thanksgiving, except people are much more interested in a turkey on a platter than a turkey behind a podium. What we need is a good one-minute graduation speech. Here’s my platitude-stuffed effort:

“Okay, folks, you got your degrees. It’s a good time to set goals and devise a plan. Remember, failing to plan is planning to fail. You need a roadmap, but be prepared for unintended detours, confusing signs and closed roads. Don’t be afraid of change or unwilling to change. Enjoy the journey, wherever it takes you, because that’s your life.

“Chances are, success and happiness are among your goals. But be careful, they’re not the same — all successful people aren’t happy and all happy people aren’t successful. If you have to choose, choose happiness.

“Take control of your life by taking control of your attitudes. Pain and disappointment are inevitable, but suffering is optional and tough times are always temporary.

“Live within your means, and when you mess up, fess up. When you’re in a hole, stop digging.

“Listen to both your heart and your head. Pursue your passions, but don’t confuse feelings with facts, fun with happiness or pleasure with fulfillment.

“Don’t sacrifice a thousand tomorrows for a few todays, and don’t settle for a little life. Live with purpose and for significance. Respect yourself and others, avoid self-righteousness and be kind rather than right.”

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.