The key to avoid going down the wrong path. The importance of restating your vision once and again.
A clear perception of the world brings man unlimited rewards, but learning to see the truth is seldom easy and never without cost. Only by developing an ambitious and realistic vision of the future can man escape the trap of paralysis. Without sharply-defined objectives, we tend to fall into conformity, a bank from which we can borrow short-term convenience in exchange for a mortgage on our soul.
How to avoid blocking your own personal development
“Men should avoid the distractions of pretense and delusion,” wrote German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer in the year 1842. “Expectations disconnected from reality always result in disappointment and sorrow.”
Take the time to reflect about what you want to achieve in life and try to condense your dreams in one sentence. Without self-starting motivation, man is easily blinded by a fog of contradictions that lead to expensive mistakes.
Only a self-image of health can permanently prevent individuals from consuming unhealthy food. People who have not established self-preservation as a goal, keep on consuming damaging substances despite being aware of their long-term negative effects, in the illusion that, somehow, they alone will be immune to the consequences.
The same principle applies to decaying work environments. Men and women who have not determined ambitious long-term objectives for themselves, tend to close their eyes to signs of decline in the company they work for in order to avoid the nuisance of searching alternative employment.
The key to avoid going down the wrong path
Write down your own vision of the future and keep it where you can see it. Defining your destination will help you avoid wrong relationships and avert people who drag you down. Men who lack firm ethical values tend to ignore character flaws in people they meet and often go as far as attributing non-existent virtues to whomever they find sexually attractive, even if that person is manifestly keeping them away from the path of achievement.
Defining your goals in life will not render you immune to errors, but will help you minimize them. When it comes to choosing the right alternative, few habits are as effective as standing still, questioning what looks too good to be true, and checking its consistency with your established objectives.
The importance of restating your vision once and again
“Only an unclouded vision of reality allows man to perceive truth,” observed Schopenhauer. “Decisions based on facts render individuals self-supporting, which is the key of happiness.” History shows that lack of rational values, more than ignorance, constitutes the main block to progress. A man should never forget that his advancement towards success and happiness depends on his loyalty to his own rational objectives.
Write down your fundamental goals and summarize them in one sentence. Restate your vision of the future at every opportunity and discard options that don’t match it. Only by our achieving philosophical clarity can our actions be consistent and effective. Moving continuously in the direction of your goals will maximize your chances of success and happiness.
Rev. Russell Williams
Chief Inspirational Officer
Leaders of Integrity, ETHICAL EDGE, and I am blessed to add, my friend.
It was a Friday evening…mid-December 1955. The holiday season was in full display. Dad was driving his 3 kids…my sister, brother and me…to the Santa Fe Railroad Depot in Pasadena to await the arrival of our grandmother traveling on the Super Chief from Albuquerque. We got there early enough to take our positions standing behind the white line to await the train’s arrival. It was the first time we had ever seen the Super Chief arrive at night. I was so excited!
The announcement of the train’s imminent arrival did not occur over a loud speaker. It was far better than that. Before I could see the Super Chief 300 yards up the track as it made its turn from the east onto the southbound straightaway to the depot, there was a vibration on the ground that grew by the moment until the vibration was so strong that it went through my whole body. Then came the moment….as the locomotive engine made its turn…a brilliantly large single, oscillating light came into view bringing a showering of light everywhere present to accompany the overwhelming vibration that now roared through my body. What a treasured childhood memory!
That boyhood experience matured over the years into a deep, appreciative understanding of the Author of Light guiding our journey as individuals and a living humanity. The Light that leads us is wisdom discovered and applied in our practice to become leaders of integrity whose mission it is to serve as an influence for good at home, at work and in the community.
Back in 1781 as our fledgling nation sought to define a Constitution to guide us, Benjamin Franklin, the oldest member of The Constitutional Convention, stood before his peers for the first time…at a perilous moment in the proceedings and stated, “The longer I live..I see the truth that God governs the affairs of men.”
As I turn the corner into the metaphoric last 300 yards of my professional life, I am choosing to dedicate my energies to give voice to a role I now define as the chief inspirational officer of the Leaders of Integrity initiative birthed in 2009 as the Ethical Edge. Similar to the turbulent time of long ago, we shall, together, grow our influence as wisdom keepers of the Light leading us.
I believe every person who is pursuing their role as a leader of integrity needs the powerful vitamins of hope and encouragement to offer light to their path. This effort now animates my work with you and many others in our shared mission of influence for good.
In closing, I thank you for your involvement and support of the mission of Passkeys, a non-profit publicly supported foundation. I appreciate your year-end, charitable gift as an expression of your gratitude for the contribution the foundation is making in the lives of many…and I trust includes you.
I am proud to share a story about one my favorite mentors, Anthony Robbins.
I met Tony in 1985 in Aspen, Colorado, at a global conference on World Peace that had been arranged by Thomas Crum, friend, sifu, and partner to the country-music artist John Denver. A dear friend and mentor, Dr. Jeff Alexander founder of Warrior Spirit (www.warriorspiritit.com) introduced me to Tony.
I did my first ‘fire-walk’ with Tony the first night of the conference. It was a magical experience. The power for me was not in safely transiting the hot coals in bare feet. The personal victory and lasting empowerment was in believing in self, mastering fear, and allowing myself to do it.
During the three-day meeting I spent some time with Tony and told him how I thought his message of personal responsibility and empowerment was needed and would be welcomed in Panama, R.P.
I had resided in Panama for the last 10 years conducting a growing business in the warehousing and relocation industry. I considered it home and was very concerned about the increasing negative changes under the self-imposed dictator, Manuel Noriega. I told Tony that there were many people opposed to Noriega’s corruption and cruelty – and that most felt powerless.
Under the guise of conducting a leadership training Tony agreed to come to Panama for a week if I would organize and financially support the event. Thrilled with the opportunity and having no clue what my next step would be, I committed with an enthusiastic, “Yes.’
With only three months to prepare for the training and recruit attendees I moved into over-drive. My memory is that because this new large task, added to my already demanding business responsibilities, was energized by unbridled passion and enthusiasm, I became more efficient at all tasks.
Panama was far off the seminar trail – few ‘speakers of note’ ever visited the Republic. The increasing political chaos and violence were also factors dissuading visitors.
In 1985 Tony was still a relative ‘unknown’, especially outside the US. My explanations about the fire-walk, Tony’s training sessions, and recruiting for the seminar became time-consuming challenges.
Fortunately, I had recruited several friends who worked for the US Army in senior admin positions who were interested in human development work. We concluded that conducting the event in the US controlled Canal Zone would shield us from the suspicious and corrupt Panama government.
Getting permission from local skeptical authorities to conduct a seminar with a ‘fire-walk’ on US government premises had been an exercise in artful negotiations. I personally agreed to take responsibility for all property damage and personal injuries.
A day before the ‘Fear into Power–the Fire Walk Experience’ was scheduled a supportive friend had arranged a luncheon information briefing at the Officers’ Club in Fort Amador, HQ for the US Army Southern Command. Over 175 people were waiting to meet Tony and learn about his programs. We waited and waited.
Lesson # 1: Always arrive at least 24 hours before any important scheduled event.
Tony had been scheduled to arrive early that day in plenty of time to attend the luncheon. He had arranged to fly from Los Angeles to Miami, remain overnight, and catch an early direct flight to Panama.
He missed his flight to Miami. Tony booked the next available flight to New York with a connection to Miami. Flight delays caused him to miss the Miami connection to Panama. As there were no flights to Panama until the next day Tony chartered a small private plane. The plane hopscotched several Caribbean islands before landing at Tocumen Airport, Panama, R.P. at 6:00 PM – six hours after the scheduled luncheon briefing.
This all occurred centuries before cell phones. My com-link to Tony had been through his secretary in LA who received periodic telephone travel updates from Tony. His secretary and I played phone-tag throughout the morning.
By 12:45 my luncheon guests were becoming impatient and prepared to leave. As a proxy for Tony I am not even on the same planet, however, I gave one of the best performances of my life explaining the power and opportunities of TR’s training. The audience was respectful but unimpressed until I offered all present free attendance at the ‘Fear into Power’ event. What had been a challenge to recruit 40 people to invest in the trainings now resulted in over 150 showing-up.
Lesson # 2: ‘Free’ is a powerful motivator.
The Fire-Walk was a tremendous success – no injuries – and over 100 people signed-up for the following three-day training on ‘Self-Mastery, Taking Charge, and Fitness & Health’. This program too, was an outstanding success. Many people discovered new self-appreciation and personal motivation to make empowering decisions and take consequential actions. Many of these participants became energetic devotees of the powerful teachings. An awareness of potential empowerment had been ignited in the community.
During the trip planning Tony had asked me if there were any persons of influence that I would like him to meet. A special friend who had connections with the Panama government had arranged a meeting for Tony with Nicolas Bartletta, the President of the Republic of Panama. Bartletta had formerly been the Vice-President of the World Bank. He had been pressed into service by General Noriega to help give his government a perception of legitimacy and credibility.
Tony’s departure date had been scheduled for 4:00 PM the day after the seminar. The meeting with President Barletta had been arranged for 1:00 PM at the Presidencia.
In the morning of the departure day Tony and I were engaged in conversation. I told him the story of Jose Sinisterra. Six months before Jose, a fit and very competent local private contractor, was building a set of new multi-story offices inside my large warehouse. Jose had fallen off a 25 ft. scaffolding, landing on the warehouse concrete floor, and became paralyzed from the neck down.
Lesson # 3: Whatever the task, physical, mental, or social, an appropriate ‘safety harness’ is essential.
Jose spent the next four months in the hospital. After repeated treatments the doctors essentially gave-up any chances of physical improvement and sent him home to vegetate – or die.
I would visit Jose in his home leaving encouraged by his spirit but frustrated by his lack of physical progress, and my inability to render meaningful help.
Tony asked if we could visit Jose prior to going to the Presidencia. Jose’s wife advised that she and Jose would be glad to see us. We arranged an 11:00 AM visit.
You likely know that Tony is a very tall man – 6’ 7”. Towering over the bedridden Jose he appeared as a friendly giant.
Tony talked at length to Jose, asking him about his family, his previous work, his former hopes and dreams, and his feelings about finding himself in his current physical condition. Tony sincerely acknowledged his broken dreams while re-affirming his personal courage and strength to fight on. Jose was excited with the attention. He likely had not had such an in depth conversation or acknowledgment.
Lesson # 4: Sincere caring and acknowledgment is the surest pathway to establish a meaningful relationship.
Tony asked Jose to join him in a ‘closed-eye directed visualization’ exercise. With his agreement Tony guided Jose to create a series of mental pictures wherein he saw himself as ever more healthy and being able to contribute to his family. These images were not to be based on a wholly restored body but were suggesting that Jose could willfully gain more control and ability to contribute in new ways.
Jose had no movement of any body part south of his chin. During the visualization exercise Tony instructed Jose to direct his focus and energy to his feet. After 10 minutes Jose’s toes began to move – for the first time since his fall!
Lesson # 5: Our directed and energized ‘Will’ is one of our most resourceful but under-used powers.
It was 12:30. I quietly reminded Tony that we had to be leaving to meet the President. Tony said, “Jim – this is the most important thing I can personally do right now. Please call President Barletta and tell him that we will be late.” Somewhat shocked, with immense respect and appreciation for Tony, I called the President’s office and relayed the message.
We left Jose’s apartment at 1:30 leaving behind a very grateful and inspired family.
Arriving more than an hour late we expected to be greeted by a chastising President. Ushered in to President Barletta’s office, we demonstrated sincere respect and appreciation for the meeting opportunity and re-directed the energy. President Barletta was curious about Tony, his principles, and practices.
The President was immersed in a very contentious struggle with the despotic military, some of Noriega’s appointed cabinet ministers, and others in and near government working for social change to improve the well-being of the people of Panama. Tony and the President discussed what power he really had and how he might use his leadership position and personal influence to effectively promote change. President Barletta was very open and receptive to suggestions. He admitted that his authority was largely thwarted by General Noriega. He confided that he had to operate very carefully to pursue opportunities for change.
Tony asked the President if he would allow Tony to guide him in a ‘closed-eye visualization’ exercise. Tony advised that the process would be to relieve stress, energize him, and offer discovery of potential insights and ideas to use his influence more effectively.
In the stillness of the private office, with only Tony, the President, and myself present, Tony guided us through an empowering process that lasted over half an hour. A grateful President confirmed that he felt more insightful, energetic, directed, and hopeful.
The time was 3:15. The airport was 40 minutes drive form the Presidencia. Tony’s Air Panama flight to New York was scheduled to depart at 4:00. As we were about to leave the President’s office Tony turned to President Barletta and said, “ Mr. President would you please call the airline and ask them to hold the plane for me.” He did. They did. Tony made the flight and met with Donald Trump the next day.
Lesson # 6: “if you don’t ask – you don’t get!”
For over 30 years Tony’s coaching has been a positive influence in my life. With great appreciation I have embraced and worked to practice his teachings. I have worked to teach his leadership principles and life skills’ strategies to my employees. I have witnessed his successes in empowering millions of people in over 100 countries through his trainings, books, videos, and CD’s. He has counseled world famous celebrities, athletes, businessmen, and even US Presidents.
Tony, the ‘larger-than-life’ Coach, with his fantastic ability to effectively communicate self-empowering principles, and as impressive as his continuing contributions are I can personally attest are matched by his compassion and integrity.
PS – After Tony Robbins presented his seminars in Panama we took him to the Darien to meet Cacique Mezua. This was a special adventure for Tony and the Indios,?
PPS: Some months after Tony’s visit I sold my businesses and moved with my new beautiful wife to California. In less than two years I moved to Asia and lost contact with Jose. In 2012, I asked my good friend, Michael Pierce, a respected attorney, still residing in Panama, to find out if Jose was alive and what this condition was. In a few days Mike reported that Jose was indeed still alive. Although he was still a paraplegic he had regained some use of his hands and had become an active letter writer on locally important social issues. Jose’s two sons (both named Jose!) were gainfully employed, the family was stable, and if not thriving, remained positive about the future.
Wisdom from Gerald Rogers, author, transformational leader, speaker, mentor and coach
Below are 20 wise marriage tips from a man that was recently divorced. You wouldn’t normally think that a divorced man would give good advice on being a husband, but this man has been through enough hardship to know what is worth fighting for:
MARRIAGE ADVICE I WISH I WOULD HAVE HAD:
Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…
1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.
2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.
3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.
4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.
5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.
7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.
9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.
10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.
11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.
12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.
13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.
14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)
15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.
16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.
17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.
18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.
19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.
20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.
In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.
Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.
These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.
But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.
If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it with those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.
The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.
If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.
MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.
Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.
By Dr. Jeff Alexander, international personal development trainer and speaker, and one of my favorite people and friend.
***
When faced with intense emotional and mental challenges, it is important to have a key to unlock your prison of suffering. So let’s start with a true story.
Many years ago in India, the streets host many religious celebrations that often happened in the open market place. People dancing and parades of holy men lead the giant, beautifully adorned, sacred elephants down the narrow streets. These elephants were draped in golden blankets laden with jewels and bangles. These were very sacred parades with the elephants playing an important role at each event. A problem began to grow with the vendors who sold their food on the sides of the street. Many villagers faced a serious problem with these giant holy elephants as they lumbered down the street during the parade.
Because of the narrow streets and the size of the elephants, it was rather easy for the trunk of the elephant to sample the food along the path. It almost seemed like the trunk of each elephant had it’s own agenda independent from the elephant’s main purpose for the parade. The trunk would just grab a bunch of bananas as it took a few steps down the street, and when finished, would simply wander over to the other side of the road and snatch whatever was within range.
Once the elephants became aware of this unexpected treat as they paraded down the road, it grew into a real problem. How do you stop an animal weighing several tons from snatching your food? And to make it even more of a challenge, these animals were considered sacred and part of the holy event. Still, the villagers complained to the high priest that these sacred elephants were depleting their livelihood and it needed to stop.
So, the holy men got together, prayed and came up with a solution. They created a holy staff. A staff about three feet in length, wrapped in gold cloth adorned with a few jewels was now offered to each elephant before the parade began. And each elephant trunk gently wrapped itself around this holy staff. The elephant was trained to carry the staff in front of it’s head as part of the new ritual. The elephant was able to travel down the road as intended and the wandering trunk now had something to keep it occupied. The trunk had something to do instead of wandering all over seeking gratification. The holy staff idea worked and all the villagers and vendors were relieved that the problem was solved. It is still used to this day.
Have you ever started off your day with the intention of marching down your road of life and then your mind kicks in? And no matter where or what you are doing, the mind seems to take on its own agenda. Just like that elephant trunk, if the mind does not have something to do, it will go on autopilot and wander off to whatever it is programmed to go after. Unfortunately, the mind doesn’t always go after resourceful thoughts and often leaves the host suffering with self induced mind clutter. I want to offer you a holy staff for the mind.
Like the wandering elephant trunk, minds like to have something to do. When you have to focus on what is in front of you it is important to use your will to be attentive to the matter at hand. If life is coming at you from all directions consider trying this simple act until it becomes part of your thought process. At a time when you must break away from the false identity of the ego, it seems to pull you in even deeper and suffering could result.
I introduced this very short technique at the last Leap of Faith. I do it daily when finding myself lost in the parade of thoughts with a mind going in directions I don’t want. I give the mind a holy staff and pull it back on course. The goal is to use your mind and not be used by your mind.
When stimulated by an unpleasant events, feelings or thoughts, try the following. It is intended to center you and get you back into power and focus. Your outside world may not change but your inner world will soon become more peaceful and centered. From this place you are better able to take appropriate action. You begin to realize that you are more than the feelings that are being stimulated. You are more than the thoughts, which are nothing but energy packets of stories moving through the brain. You are more than the body, which is fed life energy from Spirit not the mind. Many yogis and holy men use a similar technique to “dis-identify” with the material world and tap into the infinite spiritual world.
Here is what you do.
1– Notice the Thoughts – The moment you just watch the thoughts in your head, you detach from them. For most of us, we tend to not just think the thoughts, we literally become the thoughts. This is where reality becomes false and suffering is the result. When you distance yourself from the movies in your head and just watch, notice, or observe them, you take the first step out of suffering. The Buddha said, “The way out of suffering is detachment.” Do not judge your thoughts, make them wrong, or try to stop them. Just become a witness and notice. Know that what is happening in your head comes from a place that was created long ago and has nothing to do with this moment. This is called witness consciousness.
2 – Notice the Feelings in the Body – Same as the thoughts, just notice where in the body you are reacting to the thoughts and your environment or condition. Notice if they feel contracted and tight or open and free. Notice where it is located – usually in the heart, stomach and throat area. Just become a witness and know that your body is doing what it is supposed to do. It is informing you about how it feels about what you are thinking and what is happening in front of you. Though you might feel pain and discomfort, by noticing them, you begin to distance from them and not be so victimized by the sensation in the body.
3- Throw the Breath – This technique goes back thousands of years and was taught by the Yogis of India. The breath is the cord that ties the invisible soul to the visible body. Inspiration of the breath, which comes from Spirit, is key to shifting your attention from the body onto your true self. Because you are tied to the sensations and thoughts of the body, you identify with them. At a time when you need to identify with Spirit, especially during confrontation, the breath becomes a conscious act of directing ones attention down the right path.
It is the only event of the body that is both involuntary andvoluntary. For example, your kidneys work involuntarily on their own without your attention. You can’t speed them up or slow them down with your thoughts. Your breath on the other hand is done involuntarily most of your day. You breathe and don’t have to have any conscious attention on it. Like your kidneys, the lungs just take in and let out air without your direction. But at will, you can alter your own breath whenever you want. You can take in a deep breath, or breathe shallow or rapidly by just consciously choosing to do so. So breathing also comes under voluntary control by willing it so.
After noticing the thoughts for a brief moment, notice the feelings in the body. Then direct your attention on the breath. With one long, deep inhale, say to yourself, “Breathe in Spirit!”. This gives the mind a new thought to wrap around. When the lungs are full, say to yourself “Breathe out Ego” while exhaling with one short followed by a longer exhale until the lungs are empty. So, one short and one long exhale right after it in the same exhale. Repeat this three times in a row and notice the difference in the body.
Physiologically what is happening is that you are oxygenating the body by breathing in air at a time you need it the most. Most unconscious reaction to discomfort is accompanied with shallow breathing or holding the breath altogether. With air coming into the lungs, the blood moves through all the brain, muscles and organs. You are doing something in the midst of challenge. The mere fact that you are re-directing your thoughts and body to follow your will starts to shift your perspective. The nervous system calms, and clarity soon follows.
Then literally lean your upper body back into your spirit. The act of leaning back and away from the condition in your head and heart area, gives space between you and the event. Allow the negative thoughts and programing to simply pass through the space created by leaning back into spirit. Remember that you are the sky and not the dark clouds passing through the sky.
This technique will soon become automatic and part of the good programing of your subconscious. What would life be like if every time you had a negative thought and associated feelings, your awareness automatically reminded you to distance yourself from such destructive thinking and you leaned back into your spirit? Perceptions begin to change. You no longer become marinated by your thoughts and soon realize that what is happening in your head has nothing to do with reality.
Some call this liberation. I call it reuniting with your Warrior Spirit. Enjoy your holy staff and I know that you will have ample opportunities to apply it after reading these words.
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by author John Vespasian
