Life in Small Bites

Feeling “Closed-in”?  No Progress?  
Can’t Escape?

Personal story: Air Force POW/Survival Training

As an U.S. Air Force pilot in the early ‘70’s, I underwent POW/Survival train- ing. The training was to teach skills that would allow you to survive in the wilderness with no food, tools, or companions, using only your wits and the resources available in jungle or forest habitat. The training was very rigorous and demanding.

The training was also designed to prepare you for the extreme duress of being a Prisoner of War (POW).

One process used to simulate the isolation and torture that would likely be ex- perienced as a POW was, after much physical and mental harassment, to lock you into “pitch black” box about the size of a small washing machine. This was extremely uncomfortable and nearly mentally unbearable.

The time spent “in the box”, although usually less than an hour each time, seemed to last forever, kind of like in life, when you are experiencing a rut, depression, or severe problem with no solution in sight.

The box experience was transforming. For some, it was so horrific that they failed the test and did not complete the training. I even heard comments like, “If being a POW is anything like the training, I’ll never let them take me alive!” For others, the box experience was motivational. Motivating from the point of view that even with the nearly unbearable anguish, we could “come through”, complete the test, and move forward.

The box became a symbol of our inner strength and commitment to do what- ever is necessary to survive, to succeed, to care for ourselves, our family, our country. I trust that this was the real intention of the learning exercises.

Many of us who completed the test shared reflections that regardless of the physical and mental suffering we were sustained by knowing that it was a simulation; that the Air Force had just spent a million dollars training us as pilots, and the faith that they were really on our side.

This comforting and sustaining awareness was crucial to survival. And so it is with all of our life experiences. What if you lived your life believing that the Universe is really on your side?

It is my firm belief that we were not given life for no reason. Not yet knowing the reason is not justification for not embracing the nurture of a sustaining Universe. Treading in the comfort of a purposeful and nurturing Universe gives us strength to move through life’s challenges, and it inspires and stimu- lates us to move toward greater insight, wisdom, well-being, and contribution.

The magic of life is that these are different for everyone and we get to play in a world of unlimited diversity, beauty, privilege, and opportunity. And it always starts from where we are— now!

So what box are you in? Where do you want to go armed with the knowledge and faith that the Universe will support?

Remember, even with such support, it’s You in the box and it’s You who must do the doing to move through and toward your challenges and contributions.

So our next questions should be, What do I want to do? and What will I do to get there?

It is my personal belief that the necessary expression of appreciation for the Universe’s support is Action and Service for the benefit of others.

Behind me is infinite power.
  Before me is endless possibility.   Around me is boundless opportunity.   Why should I fear?

– Stella Stuart

The truth is, life wouldn’t be worth living if there were no difficult times. Although no one wants to face them, one thing to note is that you’ll always learn more about life from times like this. And it’s either you become stronger or it kills you. But it’s always inspiring to tell a victory story at the end of the day.

Alicia Fanning of All Women Stalk shares some life lessons you should always remember:

1. Give yourself the gift of gentleness:When you go through something difficult, be gentle with yourself. Comfort yourself the way you would a friend going through the same thing. Sometimes you have to be your own friend and encourage your own heart. That’s more than okay; in fact, it shows that you have strong coping skills. It’s wonderful if you can see that you need to treat yourself with gentleness.
2. Break the circle of unfairness, unkindness or injustice: When someone treats you unfairly, unkindly or any other way that’s completely wrong, it’s normal to have the urge to treat them the same way. But not giving in to that actually makes you the better person. You’ve got the stronger character. Learn from the way you’ve been treated. Let it be a lesson to not repeat that behavior toward others.
3. You can learn from watching the lives of others:You can learn so much by watching the actions of others in their life. If you’ve watched someone destroy themselves with an addiction, be vigilant that it doesn’t happen to you. If you’ve stood by as someone drowned in self-pity and bitterness, make the conscious choice to have a grateful heart instead of following in their footsteps. Others can show you exactly who you don’t want to be. Be thankful for that life lesson.
4. Who has your back and who doesn’t:Trying times will reveal this truth with glaring certainty. I’m so thankful for the love and support my husband gave me during the difficult #time I went through. It’s sad to learn who isn’t in your corner but it definitely strengthens your bonds with those who are. For me, I learned that my husband always has my back. For you, it may be a friend or family member that devotedly stood by you. Whoever it is, be thankful for those that love and support you in troubling circumstances.
5. To feel your feelings:It’s important to allow yourself to feel your feelings when you’re going through something difficult. Don’t deny or repress them. Feelings aren’t wrong. Allow yourself to be angry, sad or whatever other emotion you have. Processing your feelings is healthy and helps you move on.
6. Time heals all wounds:It’s true that there are wounds that never completely heal. But they do fade or they heal to the point that it’s only a scar. Time can heal in such #beautiful ways. #Things that are devastating today won’t be as difficult in a few weeks or months. Allow #time to do it’s work on your heart.
7. You are stronger than you think:Lastly, after you emerge from a difficult time, you’re going to realize that you’re stronger than you knew. You may not see it in the midst of what you’re facing. This’s something you see more in hindsight. But it’s a wonderful thing to #look back and see that you grew as a person through the experience you went through. It can be empowering to see your inner strength!

http://bit.ly/1IV3hod (audio)

The following wisdom is shared by Michael Josephson, professor and attorney who founded the nonprofit ‘Institute of Ethics’.

Here’s the bad news:

Virtue isn’t a golden ticket to a pain-free life. Bad things happen to good people as often as they happen to bad people.

It seems unfair, but in the natural order of the world, suffering is random. To expect otherwise is to sentence oneself to despondency, disillusionment, bitterness, and anger.

Here’s the good news:

The magic power that comes with our humanity isn’t a shield protecting us from misfortune but an inner strength that helps us deal with it, overcome it, and learn from it so we can still find love, laughter, and joy despite it.

At our darkest moments, we can’t see and often don’t believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes we think the tunnel is our life. This is when we need to have faith in our inner strength and summon the moral courage to find the spark within that, with just a

puff of hope, will become a flame bright enough to show us the way out.

But what can we do if despair is feeding on the soul of someone we love?

We can’t carry their burdens or make their pain or grief go away, but we can be a friend so they don’t suffer or grieve alone.

Simply by being there – with a shared tear, a kind hug, or an outstretched hand – we can be a living answer to despair’s dark question: “How can I go on?”

In the midst of despair, being reminded that tomorrow is another day provides no comfort because it’s hard to believe tomorrow will be any better. But it will be. Tomorrow is the doorway to the future, and that’s where we’ll live the rest of our lives.

This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.

Bangkok, Thailand: Recently for several weeks in the early morning I had been using a pedestrian overpass to cross over a large boulevard. At the far-end, squatting at the entrance to the down staircase, was a blind leper.   He had only nubs for fingers and toes.   The shirtless leper positioned himself there to request alms from the people crossing the overpass on their way to work. He held the palms of his disfigured hands together in the gesture of a respectful ‘wai’.

Each morning before crossing the overpass I would take a 20-baht note (60 cents) from my money-clip in my pants pocket and slip the note into my shirt pocket for easy retrieval.   As I passed the leper I would drop the note into his cup cradled between his bent legs. Too often I would drop my note and hurry past not giving him or myself any sense of connection. Why? Somewhere hidden in a foolish place in my psyche I suspect that there is a fear of being contaminated – not with his leprosy – but his tragic luck.

Walking down the stairs I felt a faint sliver of contentment in having done some small charitable act.

One morning with my readied 20-baht note in-hand I walked the length of the overpass and down the stairs without encountering the leper.   I repeated this exercise several times during the next two weeks and never again saw the man.

Thoughts that he was sick or had died persisted. I wondered who was caring or cared for him. What are the circumstances when a blind beggar with leprosy dies? Is he simply discarded as if resolving an inconvenience? My thoughts included my sense of thankfulness for my own health and of my family members. They also included unanswerable questions about why some are selected for lives of misery and others’ lives of privilege and plenty. No epiphanies occurred – but a resounding confirmation of personal responsibility in acknowledging the privileges and contributing through service to those without.

In the last few years I imagined a novel with a revisionist history wherein Al Gore had been elected President instead of GW in 2000. What might be different? Who knows? Maybe still a 9/11 attack and Afghan invasion. Maybe not.

Certainly no Iraq invasion. No ‘Citizens United’ political corruption. I suspect Wall Street would have been reined in more effectively or at least held accountable and that the Assault Weapons ban would have not been repealed. America’s positive responses to global warming challenges would now be leading the planet to possible solutions.

In late 2015 I learned today that some influential people were urging Gore to run again for President in 2016. He did not and the US and the World are worst for it.  Today and tomorrow we need wizened leadership – and I do not now see it in any of the current 2024 announced candidates.