Life in Small Bites

Some years ago I attended a workshop given by George Leonard, former president of the Esalen Institute and author of numerous books on human potential including ‘Mastery: the Key to Success’ and ‘The Life We Are Given’.

The subject of the workshop was NLP and ESP.

NLP is ‘Neurolinguistic Programming’, an approach to communication and personal development that claims there is a connection between neurological processes and behavior patterns, especially as expressed in one’s physiology. NLP has techniques that claim behavioral patterns learned through experience can be changed to achieve specific goals in life.  NLP claims that communication may be enhanced through practice and observation of one’s own or another person’s unstated thoughts or feelings which might be interpreted through unconscious physiological expressions.

ESP is ‘Extra Sensory Perception’, also called ‘Sixth Sense’. ESP includes claimed reception of information not gained through recognized physical senses, but sensed with the mind.  Psychic abilities such as intuition, telepathy, and clairvoyance are claimed to be possible.

The intention of the workshop was to bring together expert practitioners of NLP with claimants of personal ESP.  Exercises were introduced to stimulate experts and claimants to discover any intersection of projected abilities.

Richard Bandler, cofounder of NLP, was chief expert present.   Additionally present were NLP trainers and practitioners.   On the ESP side there were claimants who professed skills of telepathy, teleprojection, and/or psychic healing.  

One exercise conducted was aimed to determine any intertwined connection of oral communication, physiology, and unconscious understanding. This exercise involved a young Swedish man telling a story entirely in his language to a group of non-Swedish speaking persons.  I was part of this group.  The group assignment was to use the techniques of NLP or ESP to try and intuit the story.  These techniques involved mirroring the Swedish young man’s physiology as closely as possible to include matching his breathing and gestures.  At completion of the story our group discussed what we thought it was about. Surprisingly three of us guessed, in pieces, that it was about a fishing trip with his father.   This was true.   We were quite struck by even this minimal version of unconscious perception.   There were many, many more details for which we had no guesses.

 A significantly more impactful personal experience was had when I was selected, with four others, to spend some time with Sean O’Donnell (I have forgotten his real name).  Sean was a 7th Son of a 7^th Son.  In Irish folklore this meant that he would have special powers including the gift of healing.  

Sean, 28, advised that from the age of 14 he experienced positive healing effects when he placed his hands on a person wanting healing.  Our group was very interested and appropriately skeptical.  We agreed that the positive mental attitudes and expectations of healer and patient may contribute to some measure of perceived healing. 

 Sean invited each of us, one at a time, with his back turned and eyes closed, to place our hands on his shoulders with intention to project healing energy.  Sean would thereafter advise if he felt any sensation.   When my turn came, I placed my hands on his shoulders and with focused intention I silently projected, “Heal, heal, heal.”  Sean advised that no sensation was sensed.  The same was experienced for the other group members.

 Sean asked if anyone would like to try again.  I stepped forward.  This time with great intention and an intense emotional feeling I silently projected, “Love.  Love.  Love.”  Sean startled.  He said that he definitely felt a strong transmission of warmth and energy from my touch.  I was startled too. 

 To this day I remain openly doubtful and also openly hopeful about possibilities of physical healing through human touch.  In spite of some skepticism I admit that for the last many years whenever I am experiencing pain, physical or emotional, including stress or anxiety, with focused attention and intention I project internal energy to the source of the challenge and silently voice, “Love.  Love. Love.”

For me, this has made a Life difference…

“Wow! Really??!”, I exclaimed.

The Viet Nam War was raging. The ‘Tet Offensive’ had just concluded. I was just back from Air Force Boot Camp in Amarillo, TX.

For endless days while training I viewed railroad flatcars rolling by loaded with battle-damaged helicopters. Too many to count. How these broken birds made it all the way from Viet Nam to Amarillo was a logistical mystery. I imagined that for every one that did, dozens didn’t. These images brought home the costs of this war as I imagined the tragic stories of the lives lost and damaged behind every broken helicopter.

My fall term at USC had just begun. It was also the beginning of my two-year Air Force ROTC studies. Thereafter I was to be commissioned as an Officer and sent to Flight School to become a pilot.

Meeting with several fraternity brothers we exchanged stories of our summer experiences. Mine detailed the physical, mental, and emotional challenges that I had endured at Boot Camp. I claimed personal pride at what I had accomplished; what I had learned about myself. With some false humility I proclaimed that I had been awarded the honor of being selected as ‘The Most Outstanding Cadet’ from the 200+ cadets.

The ‘Wow! Really??!” comes next…

One friend asked, “What did you learn?”  Proudly, I proclaimed, “I learned that I would die for my country.

It was then John’s turn to advise what he had learned during his summer training to become a Peace Corps Volunteer. Proudly and energetically John declared, “I learned that I would live for my country.”

His declaration pierced my heart and opened doors of sensibilities that had been shuttered. 

After serving years as a military pilot and AF Reservist, followed by decades as an international businessman, I continue to be a ‘work in progress’ striving to live up to John’s declaration – and this has made all the difference.  

“Yes, please fix my child!”

This was the emotional plea from Khun Lek, the young Thai mother speaking in her language.

For many weeks my team and I had sought to entreat Thai mothers of children with clefts and other facial deformities to allow Operation Smile bring their international doctors to surgically repair these birth defects.  Most Thai people are practicing Buddhists. A tenet of their beliefs is that ‘where and to what circumstances’ one is born back into is a reflection of the ‘good and bad’ deeds done in previous lives. This is ‘karma’.

The damaged faces of their children often prevented healthy eating leading to under-development and other maladies. They were also many hardships and embarrassments – to child and family. Often the disfigured children were ‘hidden away’ and not allowed to go to school. As painful as this was for child and mother their beliefs suggested that the deformity was retribution for past lives’ mistakes.

Through a translator I offered another interpretation. I suggested that bringing all the international surgeons and health professionals to repair her child was evidence that past misdeeds had been erased and that a new karmic experience was being offered. The Thai mother’s eyes grew big and as tears flowed she nodded in prayerful appreciation and acknowledgement.  Lek began to receive the blessings for her family and child as she imagined her child’s face repaired. The mother was overwhelmed with emotion from thoughts of her child recovering health, going to school, and leading a productive life.

In following weeks Operation Smile Thailand arranged the logistics and financial support bringing an international medical team to northern Thailand to conduct a weeklong surgical mission. During this week over 90 children had facial birth defects and other burn injuries repaired by their plastic surgeons.   Khun Lek’s son was one of them.

The ‘karmic journey’ of all the Operation Smile’s volunteers, medical professionals and patrons was also proceeding ‘making miracles, one smile at a time’.

The score was tied.  Our International School of Bangkok (ISB) varsity High School volleyball team was playing in the decisive game for the league championship against its arch rival, Singapore International School (SAS).  For most sports SAS dominated the league of international schools in Southeast Asia (SEA).

My son, Gary, a High school Junior was on this varsity team.  He had not been selected to the squad that would play in this championship game.

The game was being played on ISB’s home court.  The stands were packed with hundreds of students and parents.

Gary did not bemoan or criticize his not being selected. He stood tall in character and intention.  Spontaneously, Gary standing floor-side, facing the packed bleachers, began to rile the home crowd conducting them to cheer, clap, and stomp urging their team to play ever harder.  Gary’s enthusiasm and energy ignited the crowd.  He conducted his human orchestra to loudly cheer and celebrate every home team point.

The score see-sawed back and forth.  The home crowd cheered louder and louder led by Gary.  Finally, ISB won the game and claimed the SEA championship.  The crowd erupted in joyous celebration.

Gary was drenched in sweat as he had been as physically active as any player on the court. 

My great joy for the win paled in comparison to the pride I felt for Gary’s courage and commitment to support his team in his special way.  W Mitchell said it best, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens that determines your life.”  Gary’s courage, resilience, and resolve to ‘make lemonade out of lemons’ continue to serve him well.

The German psychotherapist teacher, and writer, BERT HELLINGER, was 93 years old, and is known worldwide for the creation of the therapeutic method ′′Family Constellation”.  He passed away on 19/9/19.

He left this wonderful text:

Life disappoints you to stop living with illusions and see reality.
Life destroys everything superfluous until only the important remains.
Life doesn’t leave you alone, so you can stop blaming yourself and accept everything as ′′ is “.
Life is going to withdraw what you have, until you stop complaining and start to thank.
Life sends conflicting people to heal you, so you stop looking out and start reflecting who you are inside.
Life lets you fall again and again, until you decide to learn the lesson.

Life takes you out of the way and presents you crossroads, until you stop wanting to control everything and flow like a river.
Life puts your enemies on the road, until you stop reacting.
Life scares you and will scare you as many times as necessary, until you lose your fear and regain your faith.
Life distances you from the people you love, until you understand that we are not that body, but the soul it contains.
Life laughs at you many, many times, until you stop taking everything so seriously and you can laugh at yourself.
Life breaks you in as many parts as it takes, so that light penetrates you.
Life confronts you against rebels, until you stop trying to control.
Life repeats the same message, if necessary with screams and covers, until you finally hear it.

Life sends lightning and storms, to wake you up.
Life humiliates you and sometimes defeats you again and again until you decide to let your ego die.
Life denies you goods and greatness until you stop wanting goods and greatness and begin to serve.
Life cuts your wings and prunes your roots, until you need wings or roots, just disappear in the forms and your being flies.
Life denies you miracles, until you understand everything is a miracle.
Life shortens your time, so you can hurry to learn to live.
Life ridicules you until you do nothing, no one, so that then it turns you into everything.
Life doesn’t give you what you want, but what you need to evolve.
Life hurts you and haunts you until you drop your whims and tantrums and appreciate your breath.

Life hides treasures from you until you learn to come to life and seek them.
Life denies you God, until you see Him in everyone and everything.
Life wakes you up, prunes you, breaks you down, disappoints you… but believe me, that’s for your best self to manifest… until only love remains in you “.

Bert Hellinger