Life in Small Bites

Rolf Magener sent me this bit of wisdom and inspiration that I am pleased to share with you.

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A friend recently sent me this poem written by an 11th grader at an all-girls’ high school in Brooklyn, NY, that made me rethink the way I look at my days:

“Worst Day Ever?” by Chanie Gorkin

Today was the absolute worst day ever

And don’t try to convince me that

There’s something good in every day

Because, when you take a closer look,

This world is a pretty evil place.

Even if

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

And it’s not true that It’s all in the mind and heart

Because True happiness can be obtained

Only if one’s surroundings are good It’s not true that good exists I’m sure you can agree that

The reality Creates

My attitude It’s all beyond my control

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that

Today was a perfect day

You may think that Chanie has it all wrong . . .

But not everything is as it seems . . .

Sometimes we don’t see everything as it really is, because we are looking at it the wrong way around.

Now read the same poem from the bottom up . . .

Today was a perfect day

And you’ll never in a million years hear me say that It’s all beyond my control

My attitude Creates

The reality I’m sure you can agree that It’s not true that good exists

Only if one’s surroundings are good

True happiness can be obtained

Because, when you take a closer look,

It’s all in the mind and heart

And it’s not true that

Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

Some goodness does shine through once in a while

Even if

This world is a pretty evil place.

Because, when you take a closer look,

There’s something good in every day

And don’t try to convince me that

Today was the absolute worst day ever.

Quite a different poem, right?

A small change in how we look at things can make all the difference . . .

So, I have a quick question for you: do you need to start looking at your days in a different way? Do you need to make some small changes to your days so that they end up being perfect? What would your perfect day be, your ideal day?

What kind of day would you wish for, so that when you go to bed that night, you will think it was the most incredible day?

There’s a simple trick and tool to make sure you get more of these days:

You have to aim and intend to have a perfect day. 

The easiest way to do this is to get clear about what your great day would be and write down what your perfect day would look like!

If you really thought about your perfect day, I’ll bet you didn’t say, “Well, I roll out of bed, grab my iPhone, and check my email.” That’s not an ideal day . . . but is it what you do every morning? Write down who you would be on your ideal day. Write down how you want to feel. Write down things that would make your day great.

Write down things that would make you happy. Write down how you’d treat your wife, your partner, or your kids.

You have to own your morning to make sure that you’re proactive with that day. You need to ask: “What do I want this day to be about? What do I want to achieve, in order to create and experience this day? What kind of character do I want to cultivate? What do I want to learn today and give today, and how do I want to grow today?

You don’t need to write down a great big shopping list of things that would make your day perfect. Every morning, pick two or three, and write them down in a journal or on a piece of paper. Then, in the evening before you go to bed, review your day, and write down three magical things that happened that day.

We can choose to wake up every single day and live that day for ourselves in an idealistic way. We will show up as who we want to be. We will do things that enliven us and engage us and get us excited. We will choose to be with people who make us feel alive and fulfilled. We will create experiences that give our lives meaning and purpose.

Try this for a week . . . and see what happens.

With that intention and aim, you will start to experience more and more ideal days. As more of these great days accumulate, your character develops force and momentum. And suddenly you wake up one morning, look around, and have a sense of aliveness and joy about that day. Then, when you look back at the week, you realize, “That was an amazing week, an amazing month, an amazing year, an amazing decade . . . that was an amazing life.” You deserve that.

To your success – Rolf

“There is a moment, a cusp, when the sum of gathered experience is worn down by the details of living. We are never so wise as when we live in this moment.” – Paul Kalanithi

I just finished reading Paul Kalanithi’s ‘When Breath Becomes Air’. This autobiography chronicles the passage of a 35 year-old brilliant neurosurgeon from Stanford who transcends purposefully through debilitating cancer to death in less than two years. The book was started after the discovery of his pending death.

He recalled with eloquence and earned insights the interest and life discoveries of his youth, his moving through medical school, and residency to moving from disappointment and despair to purposeful marching toward certain early death through living with purpose. Kalanithi asked himself, “At these critical junctures, the question is not simply to live or die but what kind of life is worth living?”

His story moved me greatly. His gifts were extraordinary – his personal brilliance and his contributions to save and comfort others – his published book continues to do both.

I am struck by my need/desire to live a life that serves my yearning to understand, to fulfill a (my) destiny and to effectively deliver a message promoting personal growth, responsibility, and contribution. I am fully aware that this starts and finishes with me demonstrating all. More writing. More discipline – more capturing of insights – probing and expanding them wisely to yield practical guidance and application. This feels like a sacred honor and privilege. I will energize myself with the fuel of appreciation for the possibility of learning more, being more, giving more. “When I can’t. I will!”

I have been an Athlete, a Warrior, and a Businessman. I have had Success and Setbacks in all of them. Generally I have learned more from my setbacks than my successes – and I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned.

My Formula for Success is PG + PC, where PG = Personal Growth and PC = Personal Contribution. My aim is to deliver information and insights to assist you with your PG and PC.

This relates to another role I have had success in and greatly enjoyed. That is as a Coach – on the Athletic Field, in the classroom, and in the Boardroom. I love being called, ‘Coach Jim’. Often the persons I coached were more talented than me – yet I had great success in coaching them to higher levels of achievement.

One of my greatest privileges and pleasures has been coaching kids’ sports, especially baseball. I love baseball, the thrill and challenge of the play. As a coach, I appreciate the value of practice and play in learning life lessons that transcend the athletic field: Discipline, Leadership, Teamwork, Commitment, Perseverance, and Resilience.

I coached youth baseball from Kindergarten T-Ball to high school seniors. My favorite age is Little Leaguers, aged 8 to 12. Kids of this age have begun to develop some skills, have some respect for authority, and are very coachable as they are still fascinated by life and their own possibilities.

On my teams we emphasized the responsibility and required discipline to practice 3 Magic Words:

– Hustle (use deliberate speed at all times)

– Back-up (support your appropriate teammate on every play)

– N’Gup (Never Give up! – regardless of score)

Effective coaching, as well as parenting and management, improves skills and attitudes that develop personal confidence for improved performance.

I’d like to relate a personal story that, for me, is symbolic of successful coaching.

For my Little League teams I always had my players select nicknames like Tiger, Eagle, Rock, Batman, Radar. Our nicknames differentiated us from all other teams and instilled a sense of team spirit and pride.

Some years ago there was an 11 year-old Israeli boy on my team. He chose the nickname ‘Thunder’. Thunder was small for his age and coming from Israel had never played baseball. He worked to improve his skills and was committed to practicing our three Magic Words in practice and games.

A year after playing on this team the young Israeli boy moved with his family back to Israel. Like most young people in Israel at age 18 he was conscripted into the Israeli Defense Forces (IDF).

Several years later he re-connected with my son, Gary, a friend and teammate on that Little League baseball team. They shared stories about their separate experiences from age 12 to their meet-up at 23. The young Israeli man having completed his IDF commitment told Gary about initially being afraid when he went on military patrol in potentially dangerous areas of Palestine. He then shared how he remembered, as he pounded his chest, that he was ‘Thunder!’ He remembered the ‘Three Magic Words’ and embraced the personal discipline and self-confidence that he had practiced as a young baseball player. He discharged his assigned duties with courage, responsibility, teamwork, and honor.

Initially when Gary re-told me this story I felt very proud that my coaching influence had assisted Thunder to ignite courage and self-confidence when required. From a wiser perspective, I am inspired knowing that the key was that a young boy took a boyhood experience, gave it importance, and stowed it as a tool to be used when needed.

This is a wise practice for all of us.

We have the choice to make the learning and energy-memory of any experience, any success, and any setback into a powerful tool – a source of energy, courage, discipline, and grit to support us. In fact, our experiences are only useful when cultivated for the supportive lessons and charged with meaning – to be accessed and re-ignited whenever we need. As a coach it is my experience that this is the path to S = PG + PC.

What experiences can you re-imagine and imbue with supportive powers to be ignited when discipline, responsibility, and courage are required?

Our friends at the Global Awesomeness Report shared this quote and I thought it was a great message to inject into your week, and life.

Life doesn’t need to be complicated, however being human, we often make it complicated by over thinking or by becoming crippled by fear at the thought of taking a chance. However, as far as we know, we only live once, so wouldn’t it be a shame to have lived our life without truly living?

So, our challenge to you is next time the little voice in your head is making excuses for not pursuing your desires, be bold and brave and live by these three simple rules.

Rule #1 – If You Do Not Go After What You Want, You’ll Never Have It

Sounds logical, doesn’t it? However we often limit ourselves because we don’t believe we deserve our dreams or doubt whether we’re good enough. But if you don’t apply for that dream job, chances are there will be no divine intervention and you won’t get it.

Manifesting your dreams or what your dream job looks like is important, however the other vital piece of the puzzle is taking action to make it happen.

Rule #2 – If You Don’t Ask, The Answer Will Always Be No

There are some things which are easier to ask than others. Especially when it comes to matters of the heart, as no matter how old we are, the fear of asking someone out never fades! Although not taking any action and living in a perpetual state of anguish is often worse than the actual rejection. And just imagine how wonderfully elated you’d feel if you took that chance and they said yes?

Worse case scenario, they unfortunately say no, however at least you know, right? It may not be the outcome you were looking for, however take comfort from the courage it took to take control of the situation and the freedom you now have to move on.

The same principle applies for anything in life – don’t let the fear of hearing “no” stop you from chasing what your deepest desires are singing out for. There’s always a 50% chance it could be a spectacular yes, which is much better than the 0% chance you have because you never asked (…and clearly you don’t have to be a mathematician to appreciate that ratio!).

Rule #3 – If You Do Not Step Forward, You’ll Always Be In The Same Place

Sometimes it’s easier to live safely in the compounds of the status quo than to venture out into unchartered territory where you know the waters will be rough. However, with that fear, deep down also comes the knowledge that moving forward, no matter how much out of your comfort zone, will provide you with countless opportunities to gain, grow, love, learn and develop.

Sometimes the benefits of taking a leap of faith may not come to fruition until after the event, but just know in your heart that stepping forward into the light is always better than being stuck in the comfort of the shade or the dark.

If you’ve recently been bold and stepped out of your comfort zone to pursue a dream or follow your heart, we’d love to hear what you did and what the outcome was, good or bad!