Life in Small Bites

(Turbulence – Emergency Procedures)

When an in-flight mechanical failure occurs, a pilot spends his focus blaming the plane at great peril.

– Dad

I don’t measure a man’s success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom.

– General George S. Patton

Handling adversity or unexpected turbulence requires a sharp focus on what should be done first.  As mentioned in the chapter on Attitude, pilots are trained to memorize critical Emergency Procedures for nearly all conceived emergencies. These must be conducted in specific order.  The procedures are continually practiced until the pilot becomes fully functionally competent in proceeding through the memorized checklist.

Outside the cockpit, adversities in life are usually a confluence or accumulation of events.  Rarely are there a set of exactly appropriate procedures that can be immediately applied to correct the situation.  However, there are actions to take to insure greater success in transiting through the turbulence.

The right Attitude supplemented with appropriate Courage is more likely to lead to the right Actions.  Anthony Robbins advises that it is vital to see things as they are, not worse than they are and act to change things to be as you want them to be.

My high school football coach drilled the principle into our head that, “When you are within the 10 yard line, don’t drop the damn ball.”  I have worked to apply this principle to my businesses and my relationships.

Formerly, I had perceived this warning as to not lose focus or commitment when you were near your goal.  Although I recognize this wise caution, my life experience has taught me that the greatest risk is to lose focus or commitment when you are on your heels, nearly under water, or when your goals and success seem quite distant.

I have found these times most crucial for personal achievement.  For a leader, the recognition, energy, and activity required for effectively coping and moving forward during times of crisis are more important than any other time.   It is within the environment of chaos that leadership is exposed. It is the most difficult time to marshal personal and team resources.  Crises are the true test of personal effectiveness and leadership.  As a wise person wrote,

It is easy enough to be pleasant,
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while
Is one who will smile,
When everything goes dead wrong.

– Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The old saying, “Easier said than done”, is only relevant when we are stuck in inertia spending more time complaining than acting.  Michael Josephson advises,

When you are in a hole, stop digging.

Effective personal and organizational leadership must be uplifting, not “down-beating”.  It must be creative, visionary, and appropriately risk-taking.

During crises, risk must be managed.  But first, it must be understood.  Bob Lutz, a guru at General Motors, advises that in times of crisis a measure of “productive paranoia” is useful.  Fanatic discipline to manage risk must be empirical in focus, a rigorous assessment of the facts, and actions to root out what actually works and what does not.

Effective leadership must be disciplined to constantly focus on which attitudes correlate to successful action and which actions correlate to successful results.  Disciplined focus and activity lead to increased resilience and faith.  As Steve Jobs said,

Sometimes life is going to hit you in the face with a brick.  Don’t lose faith.

Faith is not relying on the anticipation of good luck.  Good luck cannot be the foundation for success.  Faith in self is the well from which personal resourcefulness can flow.   Faith in self is an essential ingredient to overcome threats to survival, be they personal or organizational.

Faith provides the stimulus to stay in motion. The key is to do what is known to work. For the individual, it is exercise, nutrition, journaling, networking, working a plan.  For the leader, it is collaborating, inspiring, guiding, and leading from the front.  Many of the Small Bites emphasize these principles, especially in the chapters on Courage, Success, and Action.

Every football running back can attest that it is easier to change direction when in motion.  Remember that every unexpected adversity creates possibilities for a different experience. There are no failures in life, only lessons.  Wisdom is earned when you embrace the lessons in every failure.  These are often hidden and often with unanticipated opportunities. 

Like the undaunted young man excited by the pile of horse manure claiming, “There must be a pony around here someplace!” our challenge is always to look for the pony, the opportunity, while handling the turbulence. 

Many Small Bites speak to this wisdom.

Make a commitment that tragedies and disappointments become a source of increased Patience, Strength, & Wisdom.

– Dad

If you are going through hell, keep going.

– Winston Churchill

In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

A crisis is a terrible thing to waste.

– Anonymous

Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.

–Vernon Sanders Law

God sometimes does try to the uttermost those whom he wishes to bless.

– Mohandas Gandhi

A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man.  Kites rise against, not with the wind.

– John Neal

Mishaps are like knives that either cut us or serve us as we grasp them by the blade or the handle.

– James Russell Lowell

The biggest catastrophe of experiencing extreme stress, ego-wrenching embarrassment, or even near-death may be that we don’t learn from it.

– Dad

All failure is temporary.  Temporary failure is never an excuse for quitting.

– Dad

If you want to enjoy the rainbow, be prepared to endure the storm.

– Warren Wendel Wieisbe

Adversity introduces a man to himself.

– Anonymous

Do not rely completely on any other human being, however dear.  We meet all life’s greatest tests alone.

– Agnes Campbell MacPhail

If…

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

 If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
“Or walk with Kings, nor lose the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

– Rudyard Kipling

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines.

– Robert Schuller

Turn your wounds into wisdom. 

– Oprah Winfrey

Negotiating unwanted turbulence is an opportunity to sharpen one’s skills.

– Dad

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. 

– Mark Twain

You never will be the person you can be if pressure, tension and discipline are taken out of your life.

– James G. Bilkey

Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even. 

– Muhammad Ali

I was standing in the middle of 100+ angry men.  They were angry at me.  My safety was at risk.  My courage was severely tested.

Days before all these men had all been my employees earning a local ‘above average wage’ for the assigned work.  Also they enjoyed numerous benefits not usually accorded workers in this community.  They had been relatively content with their jobs, my company, and me as their boss.  Nevertheless, today, they were angry and resentful and menacing.

The situation was that I was advising them that I did not have the cash for their expected severance pay.

All of these workers were hired on a one-year fixed-term contract that coincided with the contract that my company had with the US government.  This term contract required no severance pay and was fully understood by all employees at ‘job acceptance’.

Three months before the US government asked my company to extend the work contract for three additional months as negotiations to award a subsequent contract had not been completed.  The government agreed to cover any additional incurred costs.  Given this assurance via handshake I agreed.  The government was grateful as my company was providing a vital community service.  In agreeing I also hoped to extend the current goodwill and be awarded a new contract.

Not to happen.  The new work contract had finally been assigned to another contractor.  All my workers filed for severance pay as their fixed-term contract had been extended beyond the initial one-year period.  When I advised the US government of the local legal requirement to pay some severance due to the extension their reply was basically ‘rots of ruck!”  The extension of the contract did not specifically state that severance pay would be reimbursed and so the procurement division officers who had agreed to any additional costs ‘ran and hid’.

The workers were angry – even though they had all been hired by the new contractor and would not miss one day’s work or wages.

Facing the 100+ men I thanked them for their service, advised that I would do all I could to pay severance – deserved or not. 

I told them that I would put $20,000 in cash and sign the titles of the working vehicles to them to sell and distribute all the proceeds to the workers appropriately.  The vehicles had re-sale values of more than $120,000 and exceeded the amount due the workers for any relevant severance.  These trucks and equipment could be immediately sold to the new contractor as they would be needed to properly serve the work contract requirements. 

The new contractor refused to buy them from me as he was still angry that I had won the contract from him 15 months before.  Revenge is a poor business practice –yet one too often practiced in this developing third-world country.  His winning bid for the new contract was, by my calculations, not profitable – rather designed to win back the contract regardless of costs.  It did and with the US government officers hiding I was left holding a very expensive severance liability.

Despite angry shouts and shaking fists no one took any physical actions against me.  With genuine humility and forced boldness I exited the circle and left in my car.  My boldness was replaced with sweaty relief and some shaking as I drove back to my office.

What did I learn?:

1.  Fairness and expectations are defined by one’s perceived benefit.  The workers and mine differed greatly.

2.  Agreements for payments or reimbursements must be written and signed by persons having legal authority and ability to do so.  This is a ‘no brainer’, except when one’s brain in not working.

3.  Work to correct, erase, or amend any discords with local businesses or persons for real or perceived affronts.  Even competitors can be a source of support during difficult times if relationships are cordial.  Business enemies are cancerous.

4.  Humility, honesty, and boldness are important virtues to practice and be communicated in times of challenge – especially physical ones.

1. Rise with the sun to pray. Pray alone. Pray often. The Great Spirit will listen, if you only speak.

2. Be tolerant of those who are lost on their path. Ignorance, conceit, anger, jealousy – and greed stem from a lost soul. Pray that they will find guidance.

3. Search for yourself, by yourself. Do not allow others to make your path for you. It is your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.

4. Treat the guests in your home with much consideration. Serve them the best food, give them the best bed and treat them with respect and honor.

5. Do not take what is not yours whether from a person, a community, the wilderness or from a culture. It was not earned nor given. It is not yours.

6. Respect all things that are placed upon this earth – whether it be people or plant.

7. Honor other people’s thoughts, wishes and words. Never interrupt another or mock or rudely mimic them. Allow each person the right to personal expression.

8. Never speak of others in a bad way. The negative energy that you put out into the universe will multiply when it returns to you.

9. All persons make mistakes. And all mistakes can be forgiven.

10. Bad thoughts cause illness of the mind, body and spirit. Practice optimism.

11. Nature is not FOR us, it is a PART of us. They are part of your worldly family.

12. Children are the seeds of our future. Plant love in their hearts and water them with wisdom and life’s lessons. When they are grown, give them space to grow.

13. Avoid hurting the hearts of others. The poison of your pain will return to you.

14. Be truthful at all times. Honesty is the test of ones will within this universe.

15. Keep yourself balanced. Your Mental self, Spiritual self, Emotional self, and Physical self – all need to be strong, pure and healthy. Work out the body to strengthen the mind. Grow rich in spirit to cure emotional ails.

16. Make conscious decisions as to who you will be and how you will react. Be responsible for your own actions.

17. Respect the privacy and personal space of others. Do not touch the personal property of others – especially sacred and religious objects. This is forbidden.

18. Be true to yourself first. You cannot nurture and help others if you cannot nurture and help yourself first.

19. Respect others religious beliefs. Do not force your belief on others.

20. Share your good fortune with others.

When I coached young baseball players preparing to bat I encouraged them by advising them that they are powerful. They have the ‘bat’.  The bat was the instrument to ‘make a difference’.  In the game of baseball it was their opportunity to advance the cause of their team.

In the ‘Batter’s Box of Life’ we also have a bat.  It’s our Voice, more importantly our ‘Actions’.  What we Say and Do matter.  The Values we honor and model matter.  They matter especially to our children. 

What Values are the Capitol Building rioters, their enablers and supporters, and those promoting dangerous untruthful conspiracy theories teaching their children?  Will their children grow up to respect nation and life-supporting Values of social equality, justice and democracy?

When one of my ballplayers struck out I would counsel them to learn from their experience and that there would be a ‘next time’.  I also led the teammates to share encouragement for the ‘next time’.  When one of our batters got a hit it lifted the hopes and expectations of all. 

The recent US national election has been a ‘hit’.  How we follow-up is vital.  For the many who ‘struck out’ by not practicing community-enhancing Values, or worse working to undermine them, the ‘next time’ is Now.  ‘Now’ to join Voices and Actions for advancing civil justice, equality, and opportunities for all – especially for your children – they are watching.

September 11, 2001

I was angry, bitter, resentful, confused, and exhausted as I walked the aisles of the Bangkok Gem & Jewelry Show. 

My company was providing site and transport security for the precious goods at the bi-annual show. 

The Bangkok Gem & Jewelry Show is one of the largest international exhibitions and markets for diamonds, precious gems, and gold and silver jewelry.  Tens of thousands of dollars are spent by the jewelry merchants on elaborate booths and display areas to attract the international buyers. Hundreds of millions of dollars of jewelry is on display and for sale.

In the 12 hours preceding my walk down the aisle I had been glued to CNN watching the horror of the attacks and collapse of the World Trade Center buildings.

Disbelief and confusion turned to anger.  As a former military man I wanted to don my flight suit, strap-on my bomber, and deliver punishment to those responsible.  But who?  The perpetrators were not members of any nations’ formal military.  America had not been attacked by a nation.  This made it difficult to channel my anger.  Foolishly I let the anger, resentment, and desire for ‘payback’ build.

PIO (Pilot Induced Oscillation):  PIO is a condition where the appropriate aircraft response is compromised due to repeated overcorrections by the pilot.  This can result in temporary or total loss of control of the aircraft.

By the time I arrived at the Gem & Jewelry Show I was bitter and judgmental.   Walking the aisles between the elaborate and expensive booths my unexpressed thoughts were, “How ridiculous!  The ‘real world’ had just changed and all these people are scurrying about hawking bangles that have no utility or relevance to events of the day – the ‘real world’.”

Dutifully I assisted my staff to perform our contracted security services.  All the while the resentment of what I perceived to be ‘the ridiculous’ was growing – a developing PIO.  My judgments were critical of supporting wasting tons of money and energy in marketing hyper-expensive useless merchandise.  I was demanding a meaning and aggressive response.

In mid-morning an important client came to discuss my company’s services.  Again dutifully, I put on my ‘game-face’ and accorded him appropriate respect and courtesy.  This man was concerned about his business and how he might improve his products and service to his international buyers.  My company’s timely and secure transport services were important to his customers.

At some point in our discussion waves of new thinking began to wash over me.  Slowly I began to see this gentleman and his colleague gem and jewelry merchants as partners in a process of bringing beauty and joy to others.  The hyper-expensive useless jewelry that I formerly claimed to be irrelevant was most often given in celebration of achievement, appreciation, or love.  These certainly were not irrelevant ‘end-results’.

Intentionally I coached my judgments and resentments to turn to appreciation.   The world does have horror, ugliness, and tragedy.  It became clear to me that if I focus on these my ability to see beauty is severely diminished.  In this diminished capacity I am less resourceful to take helpful contributing actions or support others who are.

The events of 9/11 in New York were a tragedy by every measure. For me in Bangkok, the personal insights that I realized and nurtured that day, have aided me to stay more resourceful in dealing with personal and organizational crises.  When a crisis or tragedy stimulate anger, resentment, or judgment to strike I work to see the ‘biggest picture’ and move toward resourcefulness. 

I also work to teach this on the sports’ field and in my business operations.  It’s always a challenge – but a worthy one.   Do I always get it right?  Heck no!  But I practice – and practice makes better. 

The intention is not to ‘feel better’ but to give opportunities for better results – in my experience it always does both.

Question & Challenge:  When in your experience have you been in a PIO or have been derailed by anger, resentment, or judgment? 

What was the outcome? 

Describe a different outcome had you converted these corrosive feelings to more resourceful ones.